Why was I ghosted?

I (21F) cannot figure out why I was ghosted by this guy (23M) for the life of me.

We matched on tinder and talked for a little bit. After a week, he suddenly asks me out on a date. I was going out of town for a wedding and told him I couldn’t meet up until I got back. He was fine with that.

While I was out of town, we were texting almost non stop. We were asking each other pretty personal questions. One that stuck out to me is “what do you want to do that would be outside of your comfort zone?” We realized that we both really liked each other and got excited to meet.

Once I was back in town, we video chatted for hours. During those video chats, we sexted. It was really fun. We planned our first date and I asked him if he could get tested. He agreed and we both got tested, and we both came back clean.

Our first date was super magical. We went to a museum, watched a movie, got dinner and then ended up back at his place. We did some sexy stuff, but didn’t go all the way.

After the first date we toned down how much we talked, which was totally fine to me. Our pace of conversation seemed unsustainable before. We still talked a decent amount, and called a couple times before our second date. He also said that he had a list of things going that he wanted to do with me.

Our second date was also super great! We went to a mall. We rode some rides, and because I have an anxiety disorder, I teared up and was shaking afterwards. He didn’t seemed phased by it, and we went to an arcade and got food. We ended up doing more sexy things back at his place later that day.

By the end of that date he seemed very tired, and he admitted to me beforehand that going to the mall makes him super tired. He walked me to my car, kissed me goodbye and asked me to let him know when I got home.

After that date is when things got weird. The amount we talked dramatically decreased. I initiated every text and phone call at that point, and I would be lucky if I heard from him more than 3 times a day. We planned a third date, however.

I should mention that he works a very intense job. He is a software engineer at a large corporation. Before he ghosted me, all of the snapchats he had been sending me were like screenshots of computers from his work.

He cancelled the third date about a week ago and asked to reschedule. I asked him immediately afterwards when he wanted to reschedule. No direct response, but we did talk on Snapchat. We sent each other pictures and what not.

He hasn’t snapped me or talked to me since Thursday. I sent him a text asking him what his plans were for the weekend. After a couple days of not hearing from him, I got frustrated. I sent him a text on Saturday afternoon telling him that I noticed that our dynamic had changed a lot, I know that he is super busy but I still wanted to check in because I have no idea what happened. No response since then.

I have problems with anxiety. I have been burned quite a bit lately, and this certainly does not help. What the fuck did I do wrong? Did I come on too strong? Was he as not as interested as he implied he was? Did he find someone new and cooler? Is he just that busy with work?

I probably got stronger feelings than I should have, and let things go faster than I should have. I learned valuable lessons here. But I wish we weren’t just... done, you know? He hasn’t blocked me or anything, so I know he received my messages.

I am very perplexed and your advice would be helpful. Thank you!

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