Okay Reddit -- I need some help with this one because it feels a little delicate.
I (30F) met a guy (33M) about two weeks ago and we instantly hit it off. We have the same very specific/weird collection of interests and same basic values in life. There have been so many eerie parallels that have popped up between us that it's unreal. And after our first date, we were both clearly very high on this connection and texted sweet things to each other over the next however many days.
Our third time seeing each other, I went over to his place. I had thought that we were just going to make out / cuddle (I realize how stupid this sounds, especially given my age and how often I've heard that line but I seriously believed that that was going to be the case). Things got heated pretty quickly and clothes came off, etc. I thought about saying that I wanted to wait but decided to roll with it in the moment. Right as we were about to actually start having sex, he was like "oh fuck" and came everywhere.
I'll admit that I was a little turned off. On the one hand, it was pretty clear that he hadn't had sex in a long time and of course I had to wonder why that was; on the other hand, I thought "you know, I was on the fence about hooking up with him so soon anyway -- maybe this is for the best". But he apologized and got himself hard again. And I didn't want to bruise his ego by rejecting him after he came early, so I went along with it and did have sex with him but wasn't really into it. I was very checked out the whole time and didn't really participate much.
Anyway, after that evening, the vibe has been off. I should have told him that I wanted to wait to have sex and wish that I had. My main worries are 1) that he feels weird/embarrassed about what happened and 2) that he thinks I'm awful in bed because of how checked out I was. I'll be seeing him again soon and am wondering if I should say something or not. What do you think? And if i did say something, what would be the best way to phrase it?
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