Hey everyone. I'm new to reddit so forgive me if I ramble or whatever.
I've been dating my partner for close to 4 years now, and he's a sweetheart. I love him a lot and we live together and have a nice life together...but the complete lack of affection and sex in our relationship is really hard for me to deal with.
When we started dating, we were both on the same page as being sexually active and loved messing around with one another. A couple years into our relationship things started to change. Instead of having sex 1-2 times a week, we stopped having sex completely. Attempts to arouse my partner and get him in the mood didn't work either. He'd brush me off and act annoyed or say he wasn't in the mood (and this happened all the time.) I started to think there was something wrong with me and began seriously hating myself for being what I thought was "undesirable."
There was a point where we had a long conversation about it and he said it was just a rut he was going through. I brought up asexuality which he wasnt familiar with and wondered if that's why he wasnt interested in having sex anymore. A few days later he came out to me as asexual and said I was right.
Since then its been..really difficult. Like I said before, I love my partner so much...but when you're sitting next to someone who you used to be able to makeout with and exchange intimate acts with in moments of heated passion or whatever and now it's like theres a wall between you even though you're dying inside to touch them...its so difficult. I've literally felt a physical pain from it and cried over this. I'm stuck feeling like shit for wishing he'd have sex with me when I know he's ace and knowing we probably wont ever have sex again. Masturbation sucks too. It's just not my thing. We're in a monogamous relationship too so poly isnt an option - neither of us want it.
TL;DR my partner came out as asexual about a year ago and since then I've been incredibly sexually frustrated and it's been hard to live with but I love him and our life together too much to leave. I dont know what to do so I came here to vent and for any advice I can get.
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