I (23m) have been on 2 dates with this amazing girl (25f) in the past month but I think i might have screwed it all up by trying too hard to not make her uncomfortable and being too passive.
Our first date was fantastic. We talked for hours and even extended it to grab dinner togheter. When it came to saying our goodbyes i could kind of tell she was into me but when it comes to making a move i'm a complete mess. Call it overthinking, shyness, social anxiety, inexperience,... But i just can't do it. I usually start to freak out and go into a fight or flight response. This time I chose flight and made an excuse about my bus almost leaving and almost ran out of there. When i finally calmed down i texted her to say sorry and make sure we were on for another date. Luckily we were and she told me not to worry about it.
For the second date we had some trouble setting it up due to our schedules not lining up. But she was actively searching for a date at which we both were available. Eventually we found a date and set it up.
The second date wasn't so great due to several different things going wrong outside of both of our control but we still ended up having a decent time in mine and hers opinion. At the end of the date she was going to drop me off at my house with her car and I was ready to make a move. Until she completely blindsided me by stopping in front of my house and just going "so yeah bye". I contemplated just getting out of the car at that point but I decided to stay seated. She immediatly realised how terrible that was and started apologizing. I just said "yeah didn't see that coming..." "Not the ending of this date that I had in mind". We ended up laughing about this for 10 minutes straight just because of how awfull that was. Eventually I ended up asking her what she wanted. Did she want me to make a move or not? She said that usually she doesn't really make a decicison and just follows what happens. She also said that she didn't know what she wanted and that she might need some more time to think about it. So I said okay that's fine with me. And that was it for that evening.
In the week that followed we talked about it and we ended up agreeing to go on another date and see what happens. But she hasn't made any effort to actually setting up that date. While I have asked her if she wanted to go do stuff a couple of times already. Her texting has also dropped to a bare minimum. We never did text during work but outside of that we used to text very regularly.
Did I wait too long with making a move? Did I screw it up by leaving the choices up to her? Am I overthinking things again and should I just wait and see what comes next?
Tl;Dr: First date went great. Second date I didn't reach home plate. Am i now just a mate?
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