How do I (24F) cope with a break up from a game addict (24M) while feeling like the bad person?

Its been three months and it still hurts, but not as much. I still feel guilty and a bad person for ending it though. Here is some background:

My ex (24M) and I (24F) were dating since we were 17. I finished college and now working on a Ph.D. (3rd year). He was still finishing undergrad and did not want to talk to me about his future goals. Turns out he is a game addict and has been for the last 10 years. He didn't tell me that until we were 22. We became long distance after I finished undergrad. He didn't like to talk every day and talking about emotions with him was hard to do. He would get irritated if I asked about how his progress was going with game addiction therapy. I would plan our trips and help him pay to come to see me (he didn't have a job), but I didn't mind since I thought of it as an investment. I got really excited last year because he invited me to spend New Years with his family out of town. I paid my way and went. His family loved me and said that I was good for him.

However, three months ago, I went home to see him and he lost a lot of weight and I asked him about it. He said that he was fine. That's when I flipped, I said that I trusted him that he would be okay. Because that's what he's been telling me. Then I asked, "Hows come you never want to plan a future with me?" He got angry and said, "It wasn't until you saw me that you want to bring this up?" "I'm not going to be ready for a future when you are. I've known this for a while and I've even told my therapist about it." He also said that I was crazy to bring up the topic of marriage. That's when I blew up and was like "Dude! I paid for your flights!" He got angrier and said, "I knew you were going to throw that in my face." That's when I called a uber and left.

I saw him the next day and he said that he was angry that I would bring up his weight and ask those questions. He also said that it would be best if we broke up. I feel guilty because I think he feels like I a shallow person and these last three months have been hard. How do I cope with this? What can I do to get over this guilt? Or should I even feel guilty?

submitted by /u/the-y-isfordaytime
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