Someone posted this advice before, which really had me thinking. How to be yourself in public and in front of your friends. A lot of my friends share a lot of my hobbies but I have never met such a geek who's so much into videogames, movies, tv shows and mainly books. So a lot of times when one of this topics becomes a subject of conversations I have to donwnplay my knowledge and excitement in order not to sound like a complete weirdo and show off and this bothers me. The other thing I wanna bring up is that your true self may not really be that exciting and apealing even tho you are really capable in a lot of things. When I was young (6-15 years old) I was an arogant asshole smartass. Who would argue with teachers without any hesitation and would be really loud, confident and all that. It was mainly caused by fact that I was the smartest kid in the class.I thought that only my opinion was the only right. Well, It took me some time to relize what an asshole I was. So I changed for a quiet, respectful, decent human being who's sometimes too kind and stoic. Now I am kinda pissed cause as an asshole I had a lot of female atention and nowadays I had almost none. I am 21 and I did not get fat or anything. So it's definitely caused by that. I feel like a have no flavor now. I don't blame the girls but not wanting to have anything with me. I understand the appeal of bad boys. It's same in the books. Characters that are confident and jerky sometimes but with some good core are really apealing but I kinda fail to understand what is atractive about all around arogant jerks borderline bully what I definitely was. The thing is that I don't wanna change myself back or pretend anything. I love being kind but sometimes I feel kinda that internet and reddit mistake genuine kindness with being the "nice guy". By this definition I am a very nice guy but it almost makes me to be ashamed of. Like showing too much kindness is a bad thing. Sorry for my lengty mix of thoughts but I wanna read someone's else prespective.
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