For context, I’m a mid-20s average-looking guy who’s on hinge, tinder, and bumble (I mainly use hinge because tinder and bumble just ruin my self esteem). I have solid photos and a well thought-out bio that reflects my personality. I’m able to get matches with good looking and intelligent girls, some of whom I admit are above my league.
So here’s what typically happens: I’ll send a funny message to a girl, usually referencing something in her bio. If I start with a genuine, down-to-earth message (which isn’t very funny), I’m much less likely to get a response. So, after I send the funny message, we’ll have some witty banter back and forth for 2 or 3 messages. Then I’m left wondering what to say next. If I transition the conversation into ‘getting to know you’ questions (where you’re from, school, work, etc), it significantly decreases the chances of her responding. If I ask her out at this point, she’ll get weirded out.
On top of all of this, I have to frame every message as a question, because I’ve learned that if you don’t make it extremely easy for her to respond, she won’t.
I’ve been on dating apps for years, and the process outlined above plays out like clockwork almost every time. So my question is, what the fuck are you supposed to talk about? How am I expected to keep up witty banter without defaulting to more functional conversation? Do these women even want regular conversation, or do I just have to say random funny shit to keep their attention until they feel like I’m worthy of a date?
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