I come here looking for answers, thoughts, opinions, advice, really anything you're willing to dish out whether it be good or bad. I'm looking to grow from this... and ultimately stop being so damn sad all the time. Truth be told... I'm not in a real good place at the moment. And havent for the last 6 months or so. A little while back I met someone at work that I was really interested in. We very quickly became really good friends. Always flirting back and forth. This went on for some time...6 months or so. Maybe longer. Till finally one day she confided in me that she was really unhappy in the relationship she was currently in. Always complaining about him and the lack of intimacy between the 2. How she thought he was cheating on her because he never wanted to be with her. Wouldnt touch her, hold her hand, kiss her, complained of his constant drinking problem and how she would be scared of getting pregnant and being 9 months pregnant with him being up at all hours of the night drinking. The list goes on and on. Meanwhile the chemistry between me and her was off the charts. I loved spending time with her.... she always said she enjoyed my company. It was almost like we were perfect for each other. One day out of the blue I pretty much asked her what I would need to do in order to make "us" happen. Since she was so unhappy in her current relationship. Maybe their time had ended and like in some relationships it was time she move on. Over the course of the next 3 4 months we were talking on the phone for hours each day... sometimes 3 4 hours. Texting back and forth all day, snapping each other. Id drive 35 40 minutes to go meet her for lunch. She'd drive into town and meet me for lunch etc. She was sending me sexy little snapchats, good morning and good night texts, going to dinner on various occasions after work. I met her son. Who was absolutely amazing! We went grocery shopping etc. I was buying her flowers and leaving sweet little notes for her to see throughout her day. Small little gifts here and there (nothing crazy) just things to let her know I was thinking about her and that I cared about her. I mean everything that couples do in a relationship.... we were doing. We hooked up a couple times. Things were progressing pretty well.
It seemed like out of no where I started noticing she was starting to withdraw from me a little bit each day. One week in particular where we almost didnt text each other at all. Id ask if everything was ok and she assured me everything was cool. She was still interested. But I could tell something was amiss. The next week went back to somewhat normal I guess.... with talking all the time and texting back and forth. But I wasnt getting the snapchats anymore or we werent going to dinner anymore. In fact anytime we did plan to hang out.... at the last second something would come up. It started happening multiple times. I'm pretty understanding when things come up last second and stuff (especially when you have kids) but it started to become a trend. We stopped hooking up. I was still meeting her for lunch though and we were talking all the time and even though she stopped sending me the sexy snaps...the snaps she was sending were cute videos of her son and of her day...how her day was going. I asked her 2 or 3 times if she didnt want to do this anymore but it was the same I enjoy your company, I like what we are doing, I'm still interested. I later found out from her that the reason she had been so distant was because she had really started to get feelings for me. And I guess that scared her a little bit.
She's still in the relationship with the other guy the entire time this is going on. Suddenly everything is great with her and her relationship with the guy. Hes changed so much.... hes really cleaned up his act. Hes not drinking as much as he was. They are going out on dates.. this and that.etc etc. And I hear the dreaded we are just friends line. Long story short, I get very upset that it seems like she has just been stringing me along for the past 3 months, telling me something that wasnt true. So upset in fact that I message the guy on facebook and tell him that she's been having an affair with me. It didnt go well.... in any kind of way. The aftermath of everything launced a couple different things. She started straight up lying to my face about pretty much anything. And since me and her work together she files a false sexual harassement claim starting that I tried to kiss her in various parts of the building. Completely denying that anything between us happened when confronted by her boyfriend. Saying that I wish she would of slept with me. Has gone as far as to tell HR that she has a restraining order against me and that I am stalking her and harassing her. I was never served anything about a order of protection or anything of that sort. Her BF wanted me to drive out to their house at 11pm at night to confront her with him. Which I declined. He was mass messaging me about how his world is falling apart.... and how hes leaving her then 5 minutes later saying that they are talking about the situation. She refused to talk to me or even really look at me. She kept deactivating and activating her Facebook page multiple times a day. Blocked me on Instagram and then one day out of the blue unblocked me. I don't post on Instagram, I have 5 pictures up I think. A week goes by and I'm blocked again.
I have done nothing but try to sincerely apologize for everything. I know I fucked up. But I really fell hard for this person. She was everything that I ever really wanted in someone. I cant describe really. The magic that I felt with her was something I've never felt before. She made me feel things that no other person had before. And know that she would of been able to challenge me and make me into a better person. The both of them(Her and her bf) now have just up and quit their jobs out of the blue. I have had various meetings with our HR about this and provided them with all the facts that I had. To prove that no sexual harassment took place. That everything was mutual. We have cameras everywhere around the building we work in. There is no footage of me trying to kiss her in the building or anything. I'm still working there and she put in her 2 weeks one day and just never came back. Its been a nightmare and has effected my mental health pretty badly. I've taken it extremely hard. A lot harder than I thought I would. I've tried moving on.... multiple times. But for some reason I just cant seem to. It seems everything reminds me of her.... EVERYTHING! She's on my mind constantly still. I know she's moved on and I'm desperately trying to. I cant help but think I ruined something that I wanted so much in a fit of anger. I had such a renewed view on life when I was with her. I was excited to wake up in the morning and go to work. I was happy. I was my best self up until all this stuff started happening.
So I guess what I'm asking here is......WHAT THE FUCK!?!? lol. I've asked a bunch of friends of mine for advice and all I ever seem to get is the ole.... move on talk. And as easy as that sounds. Its definitely not. I have so many questions.... like why? Why string me along.... why lie about everything.... why say all these horrible things about me.... why tell me you're interested when you're not.
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