Let me start this off by saying I am in the United States. I just got out of a long term relationship last fall. I have been on 9 dates since with 9 different girls and I have found a very similar pattern. I am 23 by the way. I do a social media check after the first date if things go well to follow them and such.
I am not meeting these girls in the same place, they have all been in different places and not necessarily bars or clubs. Long story short, 8 of these girls were American. After my first date out of the LTR, I thought things went well and was telling my friend about it. He happens to be about 10 years older and fairly wealthy. He enjoys being a sugar daddy on a popular site. I don’t like that stuff but he lives his life and is an all around great guy so whatever. Anyway, I was telling him about her and he whipped out his phone and showed me that she had a profile on this sugar daddy site. He recognized her and she literally was selling herself for paying her college tuition. I never spoke to her again and moved on.
Long story short, 3 of the 8 girls I’ve been on dates with had profiles on this site, 1 of them had over 27k followers on Instagram and a link to her OnlyFans private porn page (she showed up to the date as a 21yr old student driving a Corvette which made me skeptical), 1 of them had facebook posts for the past month of her arguing with her ex and threatening to slash his tires and his throat, 1 of them (a very sweet and innocent looking college girl) openly said she had to go after the date to do a private cam show for one of her fans... so she was a cam girl, 1 date was a complete bummer and we had no chemistry, and last but surely not least one date bragged about how she slept with 273 guys. She literally told me on the first date that she has slept with 273 guys... she was 21... how do you sleep with that many guys at 21???
At this point, I decided I was not going to go on another date with an American woman. Then I was at a local restaurant with friends and our gorgeous waitress started giving me the eyes. We flirted all night at dinner as she had mentioned she was Venezuelan. We went on a date and she is 23. She came to the US when she was 18. She was the best date I had had since my LTR and one of the qualities I liked was her honesty. I got her social media before the date so I checked it and no bad signs. However, she tells me on the date that she had to be a prostitute back in Venezuela when she was 16-18. It was not a trafficking thing, it was her choice as many there are forced to go into it to put food on the table for their families. This is my dilemma.
I don’t know whether I just naturally attract sex workers or what but I feel like I would be wrong to judge her in this case for her past. We have been on a couple more dates since and she is the only one I have gone on more dates with. She is by all accounts so far, a very sane, fun, and loving girl. No red flags and by far a better date than any girl I’ve been with including my LTR. I don’t know what to do here... In this case I don’t so much judge her for her past but I feel like her past may have impacted her with some emotional problems or the like that may not come out until later in the relationship. I get the feeing that her troubled past has caused more repressed trauma than she lets on. She is very open about it and talks all about how she hated it so much but she had to feed her nephews and mother. I feel for her but I don’t know whether I should move forward here...
Do you think I’m overthinking this?
I have never saw myself this way, but I have been told on many occasions in the past that I am attractive and the girls I tend to go on dates with are very attractive so I don’t know whether that is causing me to run into more girls that work in the sex industry or what but it is really getting old. I’m not a religious man or a conservative by any means but I just get really turned off by the idea of dating a girl that has done that, especially the sugar daddy situation where they convince themselves its not prostitution. I have no puritanical hangups but just get very turned off by the thought. I’m a romantic and prefer to be with someone who is the same way.
Any advice here would be helpful. Should I continue my relationship and would it be ethical to move forward if I can’t guarantee I would be 100% in it if we get serious eventually? I don’t want to lead her on if I’m not sure but she is an incredible girl and I would like to be able to get past it. To add, as I’ve been out of the dating scene since I was 18 in my LTR, is this the norm for girls these days to be on sugar daddy sites and such? Or is it just bad luck?
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