I [M20] was always the butt of jokes, dumb, nerd, weirdo, low self esteem and told I was ugly by my peers in high school. I took all that to heart and I struggle with dating.
I used to act dumb so my peers wouldn’t think I’m a nerd when in reality I was not dumb.
Anyways I finally started being myself in college and this really pretty girl likes me. She has dreams, ambitions, goals, work ethic and etc. She is tall I’m 5’11 but she’s around 5’8 and she’s blonde. Shes everything I want in a person. She cares for me.
I can’t make myself understand how she likes me. She makes it so obvious and even when she talks she makes it really obvious. I’m not sure how to react.
I can’t mentally understand how someone likes me. I have noticed that a lot of girls try to talk to me and ask me if I want to go out with them to a certain place. I’m just not sure they know the ugly side of me. Where I eat with my mouth open, lay in bed for hours trying to get up, don’t take a shower for 2 days, and etc.
I try to look good when I go outside but what if I’m not the same when you see me for the real me? I don’t have many hobbies but I have some. I don’t know the first thing to do on a date even. I can’t even tell you when to hold hands. I have had my first kiss but I don’t know how I’ll have it now with a new person.
I’m told I’m a good person now and don’t really get those comments that I got in high school. I hate confrontation and fighting so if someone ever did say anything like that I just let it slide.
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