I love what I do, I'm good at my hobbies and getting even better. Im working again and getting close to finally affording a car. I still feel depressed every time I realize I've been single for years.
Previously I was in 3 commited relationships totalling 7 years from 15-22ish. I was only attracted to one of them, and I fucking loved her.
I miss the mundane beauty in going to the store with your best friend/ partner. I miss having someone to cuddle when its dark and boring.
I feel worthless every night, because I'm the short ugly friend I guess. All of my friends are 6ft and have 100+ tinder matches in a month or two. I barely get 20 after a year. And I'm in the best shape out of all of them by far, which hurts even more because it means I genuinely can't do anything else to improve looks wise, short of doing steroids, but I'd rather be able to compete to win than look like a cloud.
Wanting someone is destroying what little confidence I have and I have no idea what to do.
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