I (20F) ended things with my (21M) boyfriend yesterday, after he said he thought we would do okay with long distance but I didn’t agree. I wasn’t expecting to end things with him, but I don’t believe our relationship will do well with long distance.
Backstory: we met 5 months ago, and have been going outside since, and share a love for the outdoors and being active. Ive enjoyed spending time with him and we had a good sex life. One need that I felt I missed throughout the relationship was the need for intellectual conversations and debates. I also felt like I wasn’t completely over my ex, and hadn’t worked on myself fully when I entered the relationship.
Throughout the time we were together I always felt like he liked me more than I liked him. While I enjoyed spending time with him, I didn’t feel the same infatuation as I have in previous relationships.
In September I got an internship in a city 7 hours away for 4 months. Originally when I got the job, I told him I wouldn’t want to do long distance. However, then our relationship status changed and we became “official” (we pretty much already were, but I was hesitant to commit), he started to assume that we would do long distance over the course of my internship and I didn’t really think too much about it.
Recently we have been bickering a bit more, and I’ve been feeling a bit irritated/less infatuated. I also lost my sex drive a bit, although that could’ve been a separate issue. He brought up again how he thought we could make long distance work and I said that I didn’t think I was ready to commit to that, and ended things. I also talked about how We had different levels of investment in the relationship and so on. I had thought a little about breaking up with him but wasn’t really expecting it to happen that night, but I couldn’t continue to go along with long distance working when I’m not sure that it will. He took it well, although he kept asking me questions and saying I wasn’t trying hard enough.
Now, a day after ending things I feel like I regret it. We had a great relationship and I liked that we had very similar energy levels. I’m fairly high energy and so is he, and it was really nice to date someone like that. I feel awful for hurting him and maybe long distance might be a good choice after all. I don’t know how to move forward or if I should give it some time.
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