I’ve always struggled with my mental health. It got worse after my best friend passed away. I’m scared to have close friends and having romantic feelings for someone because i’m scared they’re just going to leave. My mom left when I was 13 and recently said she knows she doesn’t have a bond with me like she should but she never try’s to talk to me. I’ve just seen people that I love leave suddenly or pass away and it feels like it’s my fault sometimes. I always question if I’ve done something wrong. I’ve like this guy for a while now and I hang out with him with our mutual friend sometimes. We went to high school together and started having our through our mutual friend. It makes me sad thinking about my feelings towards him because I feel like I don’t have a chance and that he could do better. I don’t feel like i’m going to ever be able to be loved or be a good partner. Our mutual friend is one of the only people I can really trust and I know she genuinely cares for me and loves me. She told me that one night after I left her house, her and the guy I like talked about how good of a person I am and how sweet I am for like 40 minutes. I realized that we have a lot more in common than I thought. We also matched on two dating apps a few months ago but I don’t know if it was because he knew me or something else. My friend always reassures me that I deserve to be love and in a happy relationship and that she thinks we’d be a good match but I can’t help but think that she’s just saying that to make me feel good (even though she’s told me she’s not. she knows how i think haha). I guess I just don’t know what to do. I’ve liked people before but I’ve never felt this drawn to someone before and it’s nerve-racking. He’s even said we could come visit him whenever and we could stay. He’s genuinely a great person and I’m scared to embarrass myself.
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