I dated an ex-friend (25m) for 4-months. Somewhere along the way he decided he didn't want me and became distant. A few days ago he told me he's not ready for a relationship and thinks I am, and doesn't want to hurt me. Meaning, to me & the rest of the dating world, he either used me or lost interest but won't say it to "spare my feelings". I pathetically offered to take things slower since we rushed into things, but that was the end of our conversation. Idk if he'll respond, but I've blocked him to focus on myself & heal.
I'd just ended a long-term relationship where my ex cheated & got another woman pregnant when he asked me out. He knew this beforehand, but pursued me anyway. He honestly treated me like a princess. He remembered the smallest things about me, picked me up, took me on MANY dates, and paid for everything. He spoke about the things we'd do together and happily met a few of my family members. The sex was the best I'd ever had too. So, I fell for him. I was the happiest I'd been in a while, and thought maybe I'd found a good man for once. Now, I feel like crap again, worse than I did when I cut off my ex. He seemed so promising, had a lot of qualities I value in a man: sexy, masculine, athletic, confident, with traditional values.
I've drinking a lot to ease my pain. Its not entirely about him, but I do miss him, and I have a lot of mixed emotions about it (shame, inadequacy, fear, confusion, anger). I'm a good looking woman, just not very sure of myself, and have gone through a lot the past 5 years. I really didn't need this. I kinda feel he used me, but I'm struggling to believe he's a bad guy. I at the very least knew he wasn't ready to settle down (age, finances, laziness, living condition) & I'd be asking him to accept me at worst (low-confidence & not where'd I'd like to be in life).
How do I get up, dust myself off, forgive him, and forgive myself so I can get my life together?
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