Backstory: I'm a woman who was seeing this guy for casual sex. However, he wanted to be friends on Snapchat and follow each other on Instagram. Which seemed weird to me but okay. I say weird because I've never been friends on social media with casual hook ups. We would talk (via Snapchat and Instagram DMs) just about every other day, with both of us initiating conversation and it wasn't always related to sex. Whenever we'd hook up, we'd spend time talking and joking about stuff afterwards. I remember one time wanting to leave his place right away because he had an early day the next morning and it seemed like he kept the conversation going and didn't quite get that I was trying to leave him so he could sleep lol.
Anyway, I've grown keen on the idea of having something more with this guy and am wondering if it's worth putting it out there. I find myself going back and forth with the idea that if he liked me and wanted more, he would have said so by now. I mean, he's left me on read a few times here or there but then has been upfront about being terrible at communicating... Leads me to think he doesn't want more at all with me. I mean, we've NEVER hung out in public. And we've never hung out and NOT had sex.
But then I bounce over to the idea that sometimes guys are afraid to pursue a girl/ask for more. He's said he finds me pretty/sexy/hot. He says he can't think of a better fuck. He considers me a "great friend" since we laugh a lot together and I got him a job interview. Once, when I told him he makes me laugh a lot he replied with "that's the goal". He enjoys that I'm somewhat into nerdy comicbook/superhero/fantasy stuff. Another time, when he referred to himself as fat, I told him "you're not fat, my ex was". This guy responded with, "Fat guys be winning". I guess that was a compliment??
I've picked up some insecurity issues on his end. (No judgement, I also have my own) As a child he was the "fat kid" and in some ways it seems like that hasn't left him when I think about some of the self deprecating jokes he's made about himself despite being a very attractive guy. In one instance when I told him I found him very hot, he said "you just like the way I smell." When I persisted, he said I was "so nice".
From what I've read, it seems like guys sometimes like it when a girl makes the first move. Also, I think about the phrase, "closed mouths go unfed." I'm trying to be better about putting myself out there. But I'm also wondering if I'm reading too much into this situation and mentioning the idea of having MORE would be pointless.
So guys, what's your take? How true are statements like, "if he liked you, you'd know", "if he wanted to be with you, he'd be with you", "if he wanted to go on a date, he'd ask you out on a date." ??
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