(duplicate post)
I am an imperfect 25 year old autistic guy living at home and looking for work. I am not fit, in fact I'm obese and will not have an Adonis physique for a long time. I have never had a girlfriend and I fear my time is running out. You can say how young I am but the fact of the matter is that I am an outlier. every guy I have ever known has found love at least once
I am out of college with very limited dating experience and have little opportunity right now. I stopped using apps this year as I no longer got matches. I took good photos and wrote a witty bio and only got ghosted. All I have is Meetup groups with such high turnover rates and superficial characters that I rarely leave feeling connected to people. If anything I feel better because at least I tried to take control of a situation partially out of my control. I volunteered and similarly had encountered high turnover. remember connecting with people takes consistency. I want to take intro martial arts classes but likely can't afford to sign up. I don't even have any friends.
I am dieting and exercising and my results are slow. I have heard from others online how getting in shape improved how others treated them and hope to experience the same. Maybe if I'm fit I can actually join a fitness oriented meetup.
I expect the advice point of confidence will come up. Keep in mind that I only feel competent and not confident. Think about having studied for a math exam or practicing a song and knowing you can deliver. I'm not afraid to approach girls either and make casual conversation so I am not socially anxious. Something I learned in improv is to read the room and be mindful. I believe I'm not making myself a fool or being overly desperate. Still how am I supposed to be confident when most people (guys and girls) sort me out and I fail their subjective tests? At least with music and math the results are objective.
Still I'm going to groups and doing my best to give eye contact offer my listening and interest. I do my best to smile and make some observational humor. I can't quite be that exciting and super positive beacon everyone loves. My delivery is a bit flat. However making friends is always down to chance and my needs for connection are not being met. I feel like I am going hungry and have to make a living by gambling. Seeing other people being so easily successful hurts a lot. I struggle with these feelings daily and when I'm social I do my absolute best to hide them.
You may say I look desperate anyways because of how much I feel I need to fix my problems but I ask you: How can I get over the pain when I'm not getting my needs met? . All I can do my best to fake it.
I have no passions to distract myself by the way. I have a few interests I can barley focus on because of this pain I feel. if anything I keep getting reminded by seeing yet another pair of lovers or group of friends in my waking life and my inspiration dies. The fact that I wasted my youth being alone makes me panic. My time in high school was an utter waste. And at college I tried seriously still making so many social mistakes I wasn't aware of and made only temporary friendships.
tell me it's not too late. Tell me You got your first girlfriend at 30 years old and had a successful sex life after that.Tell me you made friends despite being what many people would call a loser. Anybody. I can't cope with this pain.
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