I (f25) moved to a new country last year where I didn’t really know anyone other than my uncle and his family and their friends. One of his friends son and I became friends because we were both living at my uncles house and started to hang out and also hookup when we were together. I felt alone and liked his company. The more time we spent together over a few weeks the more I felt attached and caring towards this person. We’d mentioned keeping things casual. Once when I called him to see how he was doing he told me that he doesn’t want to be a priority of mine. I felt rejected and hurt and decided to forget about him. It was easy to do that because he went to rehab and was unavailable.
He’s recently come back in to my life and acts like nothing has changed. We met up and I tried to explain to him that our friendship no longer has a sexual component for me after he had sent me sexually suggestive texts at 4am.. I got turned off by him saying he didn’t want to be a priority and being unavailable physically and emotionally. I told him that I’m not interested in having casual sex because I want something more emotionally stimulating and fulfilling. I wanna bond.. is that so bad?
He said I accused him of being unavailable— which I did— and seemed so insulted by that. I don’t really see how that’s insulting given that I was stating my honest perception of the situation. He was going through addiction and also said he wanted to keep things casual. I don’t want a casual relationship— he made me feel silly for wanting something serious. He was like so you want something serious?? Is that what you want?? And I do. His tone implied that wanting that is ridiculous. Hes stupid.
We just had dinner together with family and completely ignored each other. That’s also because he feels so strongly about them not finding out about us. I don’t get why he’s being such a dick. He said he wants something casual and implied that I’m not worth getting more attached to but is mad when I say that I don’t want something casual and that we should just be friends. Is he just being immature and angry that he isn’t getting what he wants? I want to ignore and avoid him at all costs due to my avoidant tendencies ….. it’s not worth confronting him or is it?
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