I’m (29M) dating a girl (24F) I met OLD. In nearly a month we’ve hung out 4 times for 3 dates and two of the nights she came to my place. We’re both busy adults so I only plan our dates on the weekend. In between seeing each other we don’t communicate much. From my point of view I would send her enthusiastic messages and she would reply with short/dry texts. Then I’d back off because I was thinking maybe she’s not that into me so I’d text her less and try to reciprocate her energy.
Apparently her point of view is different. On our last date Saturday, I asked her to meet up with me at a nice spot in the city to grab a drink. She agreed but said she had to meet her friends at 10. Our date was going great! But at one point the topic of our communication got brought up. She said that she told her friends that we don’t talk much, she made it seem like it was my fault. She said “oh I know you’re busy with work… I don’t want to bother you” she’s also told me on multiple dates now that’s she’s surprised I asked her out again and that’s part of the reason she doesn’t text me much. I told her yeah I get busy but I’ll make time for you. I also said of course I keep taking you out, we have a really good time together, you’re funny, beautiful, etc … So anyways we both agreed that we will put in more effort to talk to each other. We admitted that we aren’t the best texters as well so I told her I’ll call her too.
So the night goes on. Our conversations started to heat up so around 8:30pm I asked her if she wanted to go back to my place (I live an hour away) she said yes and I asked what about your friends you’re supposed to meet at 10? She said they’ll be fine. (I should note this is the third time she’s had plans with her friends but chose to hangout with me instead) We took separate cars so we both drove an hour back to my place. When we lay in bed together I try making a move but she tells me she’s on her period. We’ve hooked up before so I’m questioning why this girl really just ditched her friends and drove a whole hour to just stay the night with me??? It’s confusing. I was convinced she just wanted to go on fun dates and hook up with me. We literally don’t talk much outside of our dates and every time we meet up I feel like it’s a first date all over again.
So anyways she stays over and we cuddle all night. She doesn’t leave until almost 11am. This was sort of a problem for me because I was supposed to pick up my friends at 1:30pm to go to a music event in the city but I didn’t say anything. We’re running late and I obviously am busy out with my friends all day so I don’t text the girl that I’m dating.
So it’s Monday and I text her a nice message. Basically I fill her in on what I did Sunday and that next time I go to an event I’d like her to come with me and I know she’d love it! And of course she doesn’t reply.
So later that day I post all my videos out with my friends on my IG story. I’m not sure if this would affect anything but my friends I went out with were girls (just friends) and the videos were of us dancing together and having fun (nothing sexual or grinding) Btw I know some girls get jealous so on our date I did let her know I’m going out with my friends who are all girls. Anyways the girl I’m dating looked at my IG stories every time I would post something new but still ignored my text.
Today is Tuesday and she still hasn’t replied. So idk what to do. It’s odd that she told me I’m too busy and I don’t text her like it was my fault. So I put in effort and she ignores me. I also find it strange that she would want to ditch her friends just to spend the night with me, a guy she barely knows and not even get sex out of it. She came over to cuddle for over 12 hours so that makes me think she must have some feelings for me. But if that’s the case, why not text me back??
So do I keep waiting for her to respond? Do I put in more effort even though she doesn’t do the same? Or should I just move on and let her go?
TLDR: confused if I should even bother putting in effort for a girl that doesn’t seem to apply the same energy she expects out of me.
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