I dated a girl for 4 months & she ended things back in August. There were no signs at all until the morning of the break-up, but we were camping together. The break-up conversation still made no sense b/c it was "here is a list of 15 things that are so special & amazing about you, but I just don't love you." After 3 weeks, we had our first meeting after & I couldn't get myself to ask her more questions to understand where things went wrong. Since then we have done the stupid thing of "we can be just good friends, right?" thing. We've probably hung out 8 times since, about all of them were just her & I. It was the type of stuff where I just told myself "she wouldn't be wanting to do this if she wanted to be JUST friends." So I was planning on asking her "what do you want us to be?" the next time. She invited me out to her birthday two weeks in advance....then the night before I asked if it was still good & she uninvited me but also said that she wanted to do something just her & I. Knew then that I couldn't play this game anymore.
Last night we had the "let's do something fun just you & I" with the whole intention to get the real closure that I never got before. Most of the closure conversation was what I needed, but the small part of it is the stuff that will be why I can't jump back into a dating app. For the last 3.5 months I played the "let's be friends idea" with the thought process that she'd realize I was worth a 2nd chance on. Every time I felt like I was good to talk to other girls, she'd reach out to me & schedule something or ask me to an event. Then the only thing I wanted was to be with her. It has messed with my mind & so when I asked why she kept on asking me on these events or agreeing to my "date" plans that weren't official dates she just didn't know if she wanted a relationship again or not.
I just couldn't handle the back & forth anymore & told her that we can't be friends at all, no more communication. If anybody out there is in the same situation & with someone who broke your heart one time but they keep pooling you into "dates" that aren't actual dates, don't do it unless you have the conversation of "what are we doing?" I was an idiot for not having the conversation the 2nd time we hung out after splitting when it was an obvious "this is NOT what you just do with a guy friend who is just a friend" event.
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