The girl ive liked for quite a while now. Shes in the same friend group as me so I see her quite a bit. We hit it off really well when we are talking and we light-heartedly make fun of each other quite a bit. When shes drunk she consistently opens up about how she feels about me. Last weekend I went into our plans downtown thinking she just wasnt into me, but she ended up being all over me and making out with me.
I drunk texted her that same night and asked why it seemed like she only liked me when she was drunk and she didn't answer. I was a little upset about being ignored but I got over it and was friendly everytime I saw her at our college campus.
Yesterday we had a party and she was there. I ended up chatting with her making fun of something she did last weekend. In the middle of that conversation she addressed that text, saying that she means everything she says and does when shes drunk. She said she's really bad at opening up about emotions and really likes me and has loved getting to know me, but she said her last relationship that ended in January was pretty toxic and she knows she contributed just as much toxicity as her ex did. She told me she thinks if we dated, I would end up hating her. It was a very intimate conversation, I was drunk, she was drunk, and then I got pulled away from it.
I wrote out a text while I was still drunk but didnt send it. It was something along the lines of "Hey I'm not good at serious conversation and not trying to put any pressure on you, but you and I definitely had a very serious conversation in the middle of everything last night that I was not in the right headspace for. I just wanted to make sure you dont think I wasn't taking it seriously, so if you want to keep talking about it I'm down, and if not thats also great." I don't know if I should send it.
I'm just not sure how you can be toxic ifyou know that its happening and are taking steps to fix it? I'm not saying I'd wait for her, but is it bad to think something could still happen in the future?
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