I (27F) have been seeing a guy (25M) for about 3 months now. We matched on Hinge, had the first date the same week, and it’s been going great ever since. Both looking for the same things (allegedly)—looking for the “love of our lives,” a serious committed relationship with the end goal of marriage and kids. Over the course of the 3 months, we’ve had so many dates and hangouts that I couldn’t possibly count them. We see each other 2-3 times a week consistently, and we have a routine basically of him staying at my place at least one night on the weekend (twice, it’s been the whole weekend). We text throughout the day every day and have small phone calls here and there.
He seems great and so far really seems like exactly what I’m looking for. We’ve had the talk about the “being official” timeline twice now—the first time because I felt confused (he went all out for me on Valentine’s Day), and with the natural way things were progressing, I assumed he would be asking me soon, but he didn’t. When we talked, he basically said he likes to take things slow. His past experiences have moved fast, and then he realized after it became official that it wasn’t going to work. He said he is taking me seriously and not seeing/sleeping with anyone else.
I felt okay about it until I didn’t and brought it up again (maybe a month later) just to see where he’s at and if he has any concerns about me that’s holding him back. He said no and that he’s pretty firm on his stance of waiting a while. I’m very big on not wanting a situationship, and ultimately that’s what this is. He’s met a couple of my people, but I’ve met none of his. My house is the default house because he has roommates I guess I can’t meet. He says it’s for privacy, and at first, I agreed because it’s already hard getting to know someone new, let alone with others around.
He is moving into his own place soon and said I’d wind up meeting his people during that (because I offered to help out with the moving), so I guess there’s that, but I just don’t really understand the hold-up. I get wanting to go slow, but really nothing we’ve done has been taking it slow. The first time we talked on the phone, it was for almost 8 hours, and he stayed over within the first few weeks. All of that felt good and natural.
I keep reading things that say a guy knows his intentions with you pretty quickly, and by 3 months, he should know if he sees you long-term. He says he does but still isn’t making anything official, and it doesn’t feel any closer to becoming that. It feels like I’m entertaining a situationship, and I do not want that.
Basically, I’m looking for advice here. Am I being crazy about this? Should I just give it more time? And if so, how much more? He’s been great, and I myself know that I’d want to be in a relationship with him, so why am I the only one feeling that here if we both like each other and whatnot? It definitely makes me feel like he’s got some reservations about me, but he says he doesn’t.
What should I do here, if anything?
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