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Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Help me with my workplace crush

BACKGROUND: I’m 23, male, straight, shy, and 100% inexperienced in dealing with girls, in the romantic sense. Not an joke: I’ve never even held hands with a girl before, much less more, casual or otherwise.

I’m not diagnosed with any disorder but I have some self-esteem problems, but i prefer doing stuff alone; I am by nature a private man, but feel a bit lonely sometimes. I have a few close friends that i hang out with, but I have been told by people I’ve known (family and not) that I seem aloof or "sad" when people talk, or try to get to know me better. I agree with this, so I’ve tried to ease up, with little success as i can barley hold a conversation with strangers. This lack of experience is why I need some basic things explained to me.

THE SITUATION: I have a crush on a co-worker who started this May. She works in another department (we have very minimal work-related contact, so we almost never speak to one another aside from "good morning' and a smile.

However her cubicle is right in front of the bathroom doors, and every single i finish using the toilet and exit i notice from from very edge of my sight that she glances at me for a few seconds when i walk by her. So that little reason i feel like she has the smallest interest in me.But that's little proof that she has anything towards me, plus,I am busy, lately and i can she is even more busy and we’re pretty much strangers so it seems bizarre to me a) that I feel like this, b) that I feel like pursuing this in some manner, c) and that there’s a chance in hell she'd be at all interested.

QUESTIONS BASED ON THE ABOVE: Assume that he is single, and that the office has no policy against dating people in the workplace:

  1. Am I mistaking “just being friendly/polite” feelings for “omg I totally have a crush on him” feelings? Does it matter or is it bad that I don't know which feeling it is? How do you tell the difference if it’s not obvious? (I think she's cute, but it’s not like I want to jump him or come too strong.

  2. Would it be considered creepy for me to say to her;, “hey, I have an idea! We should see a movie sometime, do you want to grab a drink, would you like to go out sometime?” do to the severe lack of interaction?

  3. If the interaction we’ve had is NOT considered normal grounds for me to ask (or if the following method is better), should I try to have a conversation with her (which is difficult due a severe lack of opportunities at work to even greet her let alone talk with her) and what to talk about.

  4. Should I just not bother?

  5. Am I way, way overthinking this? Is the best thing to do just to relax, blurt out the question, and if she says no, then reply, “OK!” and then act exactly as before? I don't want to weird her out.

P.S. this last will most likey seem creepy as hell but our company has a site on bamboo HR and her page was added when got hired so there some stuff like her hobbies favorite X and Y and so forth that might be helpful.

TLDR version: i like this girl at work, but i'm horrible with women, please help

submitted by /u/TheMAD_Madman
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