(This is a repost because no one answered the last time I posted)
After almost a year of being out of a relationship I (22M) have decided to get back in the dating scene. I am looking for a new long term relationship however trying to find attraction in others has been difficult for me. I have been using dating apps for the past couple months but unfortunately I just don't feel myself clicking with anyone who I have talked to or gone on dates with. Before I continue on let me tell you a little about myself
I am fairly social and positive. I love chatting and getting to know people. I'm not exaggerating when I say people tell me I am very friendly and quite funny. I love being that way. Making people smile really makes my day and even better when they laugh. I don't like negativity. I used to be really big downer growing up in high school and sometimes edgy. But as I got older I realized I did not want to be that way anymore. But after my breakup with my last girlfriend who I was with for 4 years, my negativity came back but I made it go away. I decided I did not want to sit in a room and feel sorry for myself. I needed to pick myself up and make some progress in my life as well as prove some people wrong about me. I am pursuing a Associate's in Cybersecurity. I am working a great starting job in IT that I love. I am about to have my own place and not too long ago I finally got a car that I can rely on. I am also back in the gym and so far I have lost 13lbs and I am gaining muscle and I feel great about myself. I have even made some new close friends and have helped them through their dark times and I am really proud of myself on that.
(Back to dating)
With the conversations I have had with women they are honestly turn offs and maybe it just might be me. But when I talk to them it seems like it's always me trying to carry the conversation around. I feel like I am the only trying to get to know each other. I ask questions about their lives and I try to throw in a joke or two if I can.
The reason this is such a problem for me is because I want to find someone who is happy and friendly like I am. I'm really good at reading people and it just seems that a lot women that get interested in me don't really act like it or they are just super negative on everything and just keep putting everything around them down. But not only that but I want to find someone with some of the same interests as I do. I know trying to find someone who is image of you is literally impossible. But I feel that's the only way I will find attraction in other women.
I normally try to never label myself as anything just a genuine good person. Which makes this predicament even harder for me.
I listen to mostly heavy metal, rap, and classic rock. I don't do drugs. I drink but normally just socially. I am a gamer but not as much as I used to be. I am starting an amazing career that I am doing my best to fulfill. I work part time and go to school full time and I have a hobby with learning ethical so I am fairly busy which is the main reason I have been using dating apps because they are convenient. I am also not very country as I am from southern areas of Texas and I am agnostic. Very social and love to meet people and learn about who they are and what drives them for their success.
The main thing I am looking for in a woman with all that being said is just someone who can carry a conversation, has dreams and ambition, striving to make something better of themselves and actually mean it. And someone who can look on the bright side of the world. Someone who realizes that we don't have much time in our lives than we think we do, therefore, doesn't want to spend it focusing on the negative parts of their lives and looks for the good instead, as well as the people around them.
So far the last couple of months haven't been very good when looking for that unfortunately. Should I be trying harder? Should I look into other means of dating other than dating apps? Is this a problem with me? What is the best way to find that person that I am looking for?
I know I won't find them anytime soon but sometimes meeting the people I am with gets discouraging. Which is why I am asking the people of reddit what might be the best thing to do.
Thank you reading and if you have any suggestions or advice please let me know.
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