So my girlfriend and I have been dating four months and in that time she's never given me reason to question her. However, in her past four relationships she has crossed lines she shouldn't have, but has only technically cheated once. She is trying to turn over a new leaf for herself and so far has done much better in our relationship than her past relationships.
A few days ago a friend she's known since elementary school asked her to be his date to a wedding in a state kinda far away. Basically she'd have to spend three days away with him. They dated off and on on high school and a few years ago he confessed he loved her. She claims they are both "bff's".
When she saw the missed call she was very excited because she hadn't heard from him in months. She called him back while we were in the car and put him on speaker phone. He didn't know I was in the car, but he went on about how he wanted to take someone hot as his plus one to a wedding in which they have no mutual friends.
She asked me after she got off the phone if it would make me uncomfortable if she went. I told her it would. Then she went back forth between saying she understood and wouldn't go, then trying to convince that it wouldn't be any big deal and she'd just tell him she has a boyfriend, to reminding me that I can't tell her no... which I didn't and was being kinda quiet because the conversation itself was uncomfortable. It was also in this conversation I learned of their history.
Strangely my gut told me that her intentions were innocent. She did behave like this guy was firmly friendzoned... I know quite well what that looks like. She also enjoys entertaining advances from men even though she has no intention of follow through... she has a lot of dudes in her friendzone. This isn't just an accusation on my part, she has freely admitted using men for attention or to go on nice dates. Again, she's trying to get better and has asked me for advice on how to turn down advances from men that don't lead them on, but are also not mean.
Ultimately she agreed to tell him that she had to work, which is true, but she was considering taking off. She didn't want to hurt his feelings by just telling him no outright. She said she understood where I was coming from in being uncomfortable with her spending a weekend away in another state with a guy she has history with. She also acknowledged her past and the fact that her and I haven't even spent weekend away.
A part of me feels a bit guilty. I don't want to hold her past over her head and I'm not a domineering person and don't wish to be. Was it wrong of me to convince her not go? I also feel it may come up again. When she wants to do something she is pretty insistent. If it does, what should I say?
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