Trying to date in today’s world is seriously hurting my confidence and my soul.
I (28F), have been single for 2 years. I was in a long term relationship and decided I couldn’t see myself marrying him like I thought I could. We were stuck in a routine of basically grabbing dinner on weekends and watching tv. It felt like every weekend was like this. I mentioned it to him, he promised he’d help change things, but never made an effort. I started to feel like I was alone with someone right next to me. I wanted to move to a new city and he didn’t want to leave his family. Eventually I ended it. I felt nothing when we broke up. Not even that sad. It was strange, but I think I mentally prepared myself for this a few months back and cried all my tears then, that by the time I did it, I just felt numb. He moved on very quickly. Within weeks he had a new gf, and I couldn’t help but feel butthurt about it. Especially after seeing everything on social media. He’d do things with and for her that he wouldn’t and didn’t do for me. I was definitely hurt.
A year after the breakup, I found the courage to move 900 miles from home to the city I dreamed of. Nashville. A month after I moved, him and the GF also moved there. The city he wouldn’t move to with me, was now a place he called home with HER. Pissed is an understatement.
Long story short- I signed up for all the dating apps when we broke up, but took the first year of being single to really just figure myself out. I’ve been seriously trying to find someone for the last year. I have never felt so discouraged in my life. While I have over 1000 matches on tinder, and who knows how many on bumble, I feel like the quality of guys is crap. Besides those apps, I’m on coffee meets bagel, hinge, POF and okcupid. I am very straight to the point with what I’m looking for, write it right in my bio that I am not looking for a hookup. All I find are “here for a good time not a long time” guys in a tourist city.
I’ve been on a few dates over the last year, but no one seems worth giving a second date to. I am open, honest and a great communicator. I don’t think I’m awful looking (curvy, blonde hair, blue eyes, good personality) but I can’t help but feel my confidence sinking as the weeks go on. All I want is to find “my person” and it just seems so impossible.
It’s exhausting putting myself out there, texting with guys getting to know them, only for them to not be who they seem.
All the good ones seem to be taken, and I feel like it’s so hard for people to just focus on one person when there are SO many at the swipe of the screen to talk to.
Anyone else just feel completely defeated in this new world of dating? I try to meet people in the real world too, but it’s not as easy as you’d think.
Edit: I know my ex is in the same new city as I am because I had to vouch for him when he applied to be on their police department. They check with all of their exes to see what kind of person they were. I’m also friends with his sister, so she has spoken about him too. I’ve spent the last 2 years figuring out myself, making myself happy, and I really know what I want. I’m ready to share my life with someone, and think I’ve done a good job at being alone and I finally feel ready to meet someone special.
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