I don't know what to do, it has been 2 months now since I started dreaming about her again and I don't know why, I had already got over our breakup (I was the one who broke with her) and now I'm in a relationship with a girl (18) that I really love so I got no clue why this is happening and is becoming very frustrating.
(This is a long story) We where together for 1y 2m, we started talking in FB when we both had 16 years, it was my first long relationship and at first it was was really good and we where so in love, but after 7 month things started to get bad. (before continuing with the story I need to say that we lived at 4 hours distance in bus between our cities so when we meet generally, once a month, we spend one weekend together and sometimes more) I started doubting about my feeling for her so I decided to break up, I called her and told that i wanted to break immediately after hanging the phone I started to cry, i realized that i was still in love with her and that i just ruined everything so 4 days later we went back. After this she became more possessive and started to make me scenes when i got out to dance with my friends or when i meet a girl. This became a problem when I got a new friend in the high school, she was 15 and 17. She was a nice girl, she was cute and i really liked her as a friend but my gf started to became jealous and started to hate this girl (they where internet friends when my gf had 15) I had enough when she told me that i didn't had to hang out with her because she was trying to make me cheat, (what turned out to be true but i didn't realized that back then) I told my gf that she couldn't control my friendships and we broke up (again). One week later we where back together but this time in an open relationship that lasted a month until we broke up again and this time for good. In this week didn't had sex with anyone. This last part i really really overlooked a lot of details because it started to get really long.
After we broke for good: One week after we broke up for good, some guy writes me in instagram if i wanted to "know the truth"about my ex, I accepted and he told me that she was cheating on me since the first time we broke up, i called my ex really angry at night (we still talking as friends) and she was drunk, i confronted her and she told me that she had a date with this guy and kissed but he wanted to had sex and she don't so he was angry and started to throw shit about her (I am not sure if this is true) I didn't believe her and hanged the phone. I didn' talked to her for a week in which i started to had suicidal thoughts (i had problems with that since i started highschool) we started talking again and one night she started to post one every social network that she was dating some guy and she maked sure to rub that in my face, she messaged me and i was so angry that i revealed that i wanted to kill myself, i explained everything, how i planed to do and all, she got worried and told my mother which told my father and everybody in my family started to over protect me in this time my ex and i decided to "have a second chance" i thought that she was still talking to this guy so i went to a party and kissed a girl, the day after the party she asked me if i kissed someone and i was sincere, then she decided to not get back together again. I felt so empty, because for the first time i realised that this time it was for real, there was no going back together again, and for making things better all of this one week before my 18th birthday in which i decided to plan my suicide one week later I attempted it and failed.
The dreams: Since the events above a lot of things changed, i recover psychologically (i had no physical damage) meet my actual girlfriend and moved to another town to start university, all seemed to go well until i dreamed that i was in a party with my girlfriend but my girlfriend was my ex in the dream, i woke up pissed of about dreaming such thing but i was not worried because it was just dream, when I forgot about the dream I dreamed about her again, some nights after, again and one week later again, i counted 6 different dreams and all of them seems to have the same theme so far: she is my gf and my actual gf isn't. I started to get used to it, saying to myself that all of this eventually will pass, but my patience runed out 2 days ago when i dreamed that we went back together in a sunny day and we kissed, i remember in the dream to be so happy and she as well, I woke up SO angry and frustrated because I want to end this, i want to forget about her. I'm started to wander if my subconcient is trying to tell my something or if i had to tell my ex al the things that i didn't told her back then. If someone has some ideas or advices pls tell me because I'm tired of this.
I overlooked a lot of details because half way through the story i started to realise it was going to be a long story, if you need more details pls don't doubt to ask :)
Sorry if my writing is not good, english is not my native language, I'm glad to respond any question about something that you don't understand.
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