I’m currently dating the most wonderful guy. We’ve been dating for about two months now and he’s made his intentions very clear. Told me he wanted to be exclusive from the get-go. We’ve already exchanged I love you’s and we feel very deeply about each other.
I’d like to give a little background of myself so that everyone can understand where I come from. My father left my family when I was 4. He returned into my life at 19 but I later realized it was only because he wanted money from me.
The last two guys I dated suddenly realized they didn’t want to be with me overnight, one of them even ghosted me and responded to me months later.
Because of this- I have a deep distrust of men. I always feel like every guy I date is going to up and leave me because .. well, they have.
I do have a lot of self confidence when I’m single- I know I’m kind hearted, decent looking and smart. I have my own business and I’m independent. I could bring a lot of value to someone’s life. If only I could get past my fear of abandonment.
The issue I’m having is that I become too attached to the person I’m dating. I’m confident when I’m single but I’m a freaking insecure mess when I’m dating. If they don’t answer me for a couple of hours, I feel anxious until they do. I don’t message them multiple times or anything, and I don’t mention to them that I’m annoyed that they haven’t answered me for hours. Because I know this isn’t a normal reaction so I keep it to myself.
I’m going away for 8 days on vacation and tonight I was supposed to have dinner and drinks with the guy I’m dating so I can spend some time with him before he leaves. He texted me at around 2 PM saying he wasn’t going to be able to meet me tonight (he usually works until 10 pm every day but was going to leave early at 6 to meet me for dinner).
His boss handed him an assignment that he has to finish by today and he said it would be impossible to finish if he left early. He apologized profusely and promised to make it up to me when he came back and told me he loved me.I told him it was okay and wished him luck on the project.
But, you guys, I was really upset that our dinner was cancelled. I wore a pretty dress today and actually did my make up and I was really, really looking forward to seeing him. In fact, I CRIED on my way home. Talk about dramatic.
He hasn’t messaged me since then. So now my brain is already jumping to abandonment.
I know I should seek therapy to help with this. But I don’t have health insurance. I’m wondering if anyone else has had therapy for something similar and can give me advice on how to stop being a clingy psycho. Please and thank you.
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