So I met this guy - I'm F39, he's M51... One of those instant connections where we felt like we're soul mates and have known each other for years. He tells me he's still healing from a breakup with a woman he was with for 14 months. She's married and was having an affair with him so it was all secretive, deceptive, he couldn't tell anyone about her and he says her main concern was always that her husband not find out. He told me he was in love with her but finally broke it off when he realised she wasn't going to leave her husband for him. So he initially says he just wanted to be friends but then pursues me, I ask him if he's sure, we talk about this incredible connection we have and we start dating, I tell him we can take it slow, I will give him the time and space he needs to heal (I've had that done for me before with the one other "soul mate" I've met and was married to for a long time) but we can still be together, no pressure, no expectations, just live in the moment and enjoy what we have. Then of course, the ex contacts him just to "say hi". He tells her about me, she goes quiet for a week then wants to see him, which he agrees to. She tells him that she's "not done with him yet, he's not out of her system" but nothing has changed and she still won't leave her husband. He tells me what's happened and says we need to step back as he feels bad being with me when he's so confused and hurting and feels it's not fair on me that he's not in this 100%. I agree, I deserve that. However, he's begged me to stay in his life as a friend, even if I need some space from him initially. He told me he absolutely isn't going back to this other woman, just that he's really confused and hurting. He keeps texting me just to say hi, how are you. I really care about this guy but I'm an empath and watching this woman mess with him, even as a friend, will mess with me, especially when I know what we had and what I can offer him. He even said "I'm probably making the biggest mistake here and losing the person I could spend the rest of my life with" (ie me). The male relationship gurus say in this situation I need to walk away, tell him I care deeply about him but he's right, he needs time and space to sort his head out so go do that with my full blessing and when you're ready, call me and if I'm still free, I'm free and if I'm not, I'm not. My gut instinct is that's what I should do, even though it kills me to do that. My girlfriends are all telling me to stay friends with him and show him what he's missing out on with me. I'm not a game player and I know I deserve someone who wants to be in a relationship with me wholeheartedly (but I've also been in his shoes and was still able to end up married to the guy I met and we did have a long, happy marriage and are still friends now!). What do I do???
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