This is really long, I apologize.
Okay, I'm going to try and summarize this as best I can! I have never, ever been in a romantic relationship, dated anyone, or even been on a date. I'm a 26 year old female. I've pretty much been focusing on school, but recently one of my hobbies has brought a guy into my life that I'm feeling REALLY confused about. I'm just looking for more advice from a dating specific group that might be able to offer my some insight on if this is normal/dealing with my feelings/what to consider when deciding to go on your first date/in general help me navigate this. I have posted about this situation 2 days ago on a different sub but I'm just looking for more insight from people who might understand what I'm feeling or have some advice.
I live in a fairly large city with my roommate (who is also my sister). I'm pretty busy with school but in my spare time I rock climb and I take salsa dancing classes, attend dancing workshops, and go to salsa nights.
There's an awesome little Flamenco bar about 3 blocks down from me that hosts a dancing night every other Thursday. It starts with a basic lesson, then moves into free time, more advanced stuff, and basically just keeps increasing in difficulty dispersed with free time and some extra steps every so often. They bring in different teachers and do different theme nights sometimes, it's all really fun. Anyway, about 6 months ago this new guy started showing up. I go every week and have for 3 years and so I'm really familiar with even the faces that come once a month, and usually spot one-offers or first dates etc. This guy started sticking around.
To be pretty blunt about it, he's stupidly handsome. He is also 10 years older. He's 36. I asked him one evening. I can feel my face flush when he looks at me. He is just the pinnacle of tall dark and handsome. He makes me feel....feelings that I have literally never experienced. Maybe I'm just a late bloomer and I remember everybody in high school talking about how hot guys were but I never really got on that train because I genuinely never really felt it. But for some reason, this guy exploded A LOT of new feelings in me. Even at college, I have never really related to people that spend all their spare time trying to hook up. I guess I kind of understand that drive more now...this is the first person I've ever had that with.
The way dance nights work, you typically learn individual and then group steps, and then move to partners to learn steps and then go to free time where you can choose partners. They'll call out times to switch to encourage socializing and picking random partners. If you're experienced you can either sit the lesson part out or just suffer through it, but I like doing it and it's really nice for beginners to have an experienced partner and it makes people more likely to stick around for more classes so I really like to do that part. So does he. Every time I get paired up with him I literally feel like there's electricity flowing from my feet the top of my head. I've noticed he now specifically positions himself in groups so that I naturally pair with him. He also ALWAYS grabs me first in the free dance. I swear I go light headed when he touches my back. I know this all sounds like a really stupid schoolgirl crush but I've never had a boyfriend before.
He started talking to me in the brief moments that we were paired up and then a lot more during the free dances. Sometimes he just hums in my ear to the music, which has me basically drooling over this guy every dance night. He's a really experienced salsa dancer (as am I) and even more experienced in some slower and more intimate dances (like bachata) which I also love. We've started dancing together really frequently. The farthest it's gone is once during a dance he kissed my neck. I could have passed out. He's recently been asking me for more info about myself and talking to me more and I think hinting he wants to go out. I don't really know how to reply or what to expect or overall how to handle this. I'm worried about ruining dance night if I mess up the date or that going out with somebody 10 years older is not normal.
Now, my sister knows all about my crush and she's concerned that he's way too old for me and that our parents will definitely not approve. I've never been romantically involved with anybody ever, seriously the farthest I've gone with somebody is dancing with them. I feel a really strong physical and emotional reaction when I see him and it's starting to become impossible to ignore. I'm thinking about him all the time. So far everybody that I have even made up a scenario and suggested like "say I met someone..." freaks about the age gap. I don't want to stop going to salsa night and I don't know how to process my feelings and I don't know what to do about it and I could really use some advice.
I'm worried that for some reason the feelings I feel about him are way too intense or not normal and that it's either going to freak him out if we do start to date or that I should just avoid him altogether if I'm already thinking about somebody that I barely know all the time. Help!!!!
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