In complete honesty, I (21F) have always been somewhat shallow when looking for partners....I would say that I’m just selective. I wouldn’t date someone just because they’re good looking, but I want to find them very physically attractive paired with a good personality. My ex boyfriend, I found very attractive, but my friends would tell me I was “out of his league” (ya I think that’s kinda a shitty thing to tell your friend too).
I’ve always been a pretty charming woman and I work at a coffee shop so I get hit on a lot. I always get hit on by guys that I think are mildly good looking but never guys I’m enamored by. Which makes me wonder, are these the guys in my league? Are the guys I’m enamored by out of my league and that’s why they don’t hit on me?
Three of the guys I’ve been with are guys that I consider gorgeous. They’re guys that I can show a picture of to anyone and they say, “Wow, yeah that’s a really hot guy.” To me, when I was seeing them, I thought “why do they like me? They’re way out of my league” but other people would disagree and say they didn’t think so.
Anyone else think about this? Why do we think some people are out of our league? What makes that feeling so? And is there really any truth to any of it? I actually know a lot of people who genuinely don’t care that much about physical appearance because personality is more important. I definitely look at appearance first. I don’t think that’s inherently wrong.
TL;DR: Is anyone really out of our league? Psychologically, what makes us view someone as out of our league? And possibly, how can we change this perspective?
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