How soon is too soon to mention feeling a shift in his energy towards me? Fear coming off as needy.

I’ve (26F) have been dating a guy (31M) for about a month now. We’ve seen each other an average of 2 times a week, usually for extended periods of time (and overnight).

His energy toward me had me feeling the most secure I’ve ever felt in starting to date someone. Texting a ton- just random stuff that reminds him of me- verbalizing things he appreciates about me and vocalizing excitement around seeing me- taking initiative in planning things. He’d let me know when he was expecting to be busy, when he was going to go out of town, and FaceTimed me on a day he felt like we didn’t get the chance to text much. I was serving that energy right back- it truly felt equal in how invested we were in each other.

The last week or so I have felt a shift. I feel like he’s just not as excited about me. He’ll send me random stuff (like memes) unprompted but in terms of conversations via texts I’m really the only one initiating them now. He responds and asks questions but he’ll let them die after a bit of back and forth. It’s been a week and he’s not said one affirming thing or mentioned wanting to get together.

It’s got me really in my head. I am an over thinker by nature so I’m really trying not to get too caught up and anxious over it. I know he’s been in a bit of a funk w the covid business and that he’s been working a ton- pulling all nighters on his projects.

I’ve decided I’m going to leave the ball in his court to reach out and make plans. In the meantime I will back off and stop reaching out.

it’s been a pattern in my past that I cover up my overthinking emotions and bottle it up and it usually has ended poorly for the relationship and me.

I am thinking of next time I see him (given that he wants to) I will bring it up in order to create a new boundary for myself. I want to build a relationship off of open communication.

Saying something like: I feel like for the last week or so. I have felt a shift in energy from you. Mostly in communication, but also a little in person. I feel like you’ve been less eager, less affirming and that I’ve been the one taking most of the initiative in continuing things. It’s made me wonder if there’s a reason for that, if there’s something going on. And instead of overthinking it, I just figured I’d ask you. Have you noticed a shift? Is there something going on?

Thoughts??

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