It’s something I need help with but i’m too stubborn to admit.
In fact I was the one to say we need to find other people and forget about each other. I know that wasn’t what she wanted but I regret what I said because at the time I thought I just could not have a relationship.
The weirdest part is I was fine after that then when time came it hit me harder like nothing else. I try my best to ignore it and accept it and I only told a handful of friends. Especicially with this quarentine happening, being alone and everything, its affecting me even harder. I truly thought I was fine and it will fade and go away like every other relationship I had but for some reason it doesnt.
I have this sudden urge to text her so badly but I think that’s a bad idea and I’m too afraid of her response. In fact i’m too afraid to admit my own feelings even I feel horrible asking random people on the internet for advice.
I know going out and hanging out with friends is a bad idea given the circumstances of the situation right now. Its hard because I will straight up have dreams about her and it just hurts even more. Best I can do is really think about my internal interest. I’m truly just lost and stuck. I just want it to end and just fade away.
I will come close, I will be fine and accept everything then for a tiny moment of remembrance my feelings come full circle.
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