Yeah, the title says all. Cringe as hell.
But I've never had ANYONE.
Background: I was with one person where I literally did everything. She never initiated any physical contact/affection or did anything really sweet without me doing something first. Then she abused me. I stuck around for a year then left after a bunch of stuff happened and I got hurt really badly. It destroyed me to the point where I repressed all my attraction to people for five years.
So that kind of soured that experience and left me feeling like I wasn't even loved at all.
And I know that it is extremely unhealthy, but I crave even just the thought of someone having a basic interest in me, let alone the feeling of being with them, and I think about it ALL the time.
You know that feeling when you just did something you really shouldn't have and the regret just won't go away? Think that.
This has been going on for a while now and I've tried to not let it affect me too much but it has.
Any ideas how to stop this? I mean it's really bothering me.
And while I want someone, I don't want to ruin it by being like this.
Maybe I just really need to talk to someone? Idk. I try not to bother my friends too much with stuff like this because they've already helped me through so much from before.
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