Without fail, every single man I have ever broken up with will always blast my phone at the end of the relationship with a million versions of “I don’t understand why you left!! Things were so great!!” They will contact all my friends, all my family, trying to find “a compelling reason,”beyond what I have already told them. They will refuse to accept the answer, “I wasn’t happy” because that was not their personal experience. They will begin to assume I must have cheated. Because I am Bi, they will ALWAYS assume I am secretly in love with a women.
It just gets so tiring. The constant, “why can’t we get back together, we were so happy?” Advice for everyone out there—were both of you happy? Or was it just you that was happy and did you constantly fail to acknowledge your partners struggles because you were just too thrilled you were getting sex? So many men are always just so selfish with this. They were getting food made for them, they were getting sex, they were getting companionship, they were getting someone hot to show off to coworkers, THEY (but not the women) were happy. those men lack the basic empathy to consider the females perspective.
Of course women occasionally do this as well, but in my experience dating women they are much more likely to recognize warning signs early on.
A therapist told me once that one of the biggest signs of emotional immaturity was when someone says they don’t understand why someone broke up with them if things were so great. News flash buddy. If they broke up with you, things were not great.
In most break ups, I consistently articulated my problems months leading up to it, and they consistently refused to change.
In a few break ups, I wasn’t able to fully articulate the reason I left(so I just said I was unhappy). Some of you might say otherwise, but I really don’t think you should tell a significant other that you no longer find them physically attractive, or you think they are unintelligent, or you realized you are embarrassed to show them to friends or family. There are certain things that just shouldn’t be articulated. Acknowledge the fact they weren’t happy, and part ways. I understand it’s extremely painful to realize one side wasn’t happy when you thought you were living a perfect life, but you have to just acknowledge that even if her feelings aren’t your own, they are valid and real experience.
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