I’ve been reading and learning about attachment styles recently because I think it explains why some relationships make me feel the way they do. I understand the attachment styles enough to know I have an anxious attachment style.
I don’t date often, and haven’t dated in over a year. I’ve had nothing but stable relationships growing up but multiple heartbreaks in my dating life as an adult have caused me to become a very anxious person when it comes to romantic relationships. I’ve been to therapy for this and it didn’t help (but I’m considering going back.) I don’t often find guys I genuinely like, so when I do..and we hit it off..the signal in my brain says “ATTACHMENT MODE: ACTIVATED”
I have really been working on myself in the past year I haven’t been dating and I have really been dedicated to being the best version of me. I agreed to go on a date last night with a guy I’ve been talking to. I was skeptical but I said let me just put myself out there cause ya never know. Well...I had an incredible time and my attachment system feels like it’s activating. It’s really discouraging because sometimes I can get so caught up in my thoughts, I get nauseous. I don’t want to be like this!! I wanna be able to dip my toes in a potential new relationship with no stress or worry but here I am..feeling myself getting into a panic because he hasn’t answered me in 4 hours (and he isn’t working today.)
I’m wondering if you guys have any words of wisdom from experience or maybe some books or something that helped you as a fellow anxious attacher. (I do plan on starting up therapy again)
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