Hi Reddit. I'm a 23yo F, haven't dated anyone "seriously" since end of 2019. Didn't do anything during 2020 (covid and all, you know) and literally the 2nd of January of this year, I had a date after so long. The guy was nice and everything, but he ended up ghosting me after our date. I don't know if that's what's really affecting my mood or just things in general but I'm feeling very lonely. And I'm sick of pretending that I don't.
I literally just want to have someone that cares about me, someone to hug and kiss and hold (my love language is physical touch so y'all can see why it's a little difficult being me at the moment haha). And I'm usually the positive one so I feel weird even writing this, cuz I'm always the one encouraging my friends and family whether it's about finding someone to date or working on a project or whatever. They probably all think I'm fine and don't even go through this. And usually they're right, I am fine most of the time. But lately, I just want someone that can be there for me, tell me everything is going to be okay and that I will get past everything. I want to be taken care of for a change, it gets tiring to be the one always taking care of people. And I really strongly believed that there is someone out there for me, but now, I'm starting to doubt that. And that really scares me because I really believe in love, and I don't wanna give up on that but also, it's getting exhausting.
And it's not like I didn't try to put myself out there. I got on bumble end of 2020, but I deleted it after 1 week because the guys on there were really making me feel like I was just an object. They don't even bother getting to know someone first before engaging in some sort of sexual conversation 🙄 And I just can't deal with that as someone who's still kinda old school for the whole dating thing. The bar is literally so low for men and yet, somehow, every single time they still manage to disappoint. Obviously not all men, but enough to make me swear off of dating apps ever again.
Sorry for ranting like this, but since I can't actually tell this to anyone in my actual life, I wanted to write it all here. Thanks for reading too haha :)
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