I've been dating for years and know the classic advice: don't talk to just one person, always date a few people at a time and keep your options open to avoid getting too attached to one person, always assume everyone is dating multiple people.
I've been seeing someone for months, started with a strong connection, good physical chemistry, lots of conversations and interest, fun dates when outdoor activities were still possible. Admittedly I was falling for him and was about to introduce the "are we exclusive" conversation when he started drifting. Abruptly stopped or delayed answering messages, never initiated any of our exchanges, repeatedly found excuses for why we couldn't meet. His behavior and some things he said hinted that he's dating others and I wasn't the clear choice. I understand he was trying to gently set my expectations low.
I admit it stung. I began the process of cutting myself off emotionally and acknowledging it was over in my mind. I stopped messaging daily or making attempts at plans.
Then suddenly in the past 2 weeks he changed his tune again and started messaging me regularly. We've met up and he's reverted back to cheerfully chatting about "future plans." I assume that his other option(s) fell through.
Unfortunately, now I feel nothing towards him. That excitement and happiness when seeing him has completely vanished. Mentally I've arrived at a place where I'm unable to see it as anything other than I was the "backup" option and he'll likely continue "keeping his options open." I'll probably call it quits.
I know it goes against conventional wisdom but does multi-dating really get people better results in the long run?
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