I [22 F] recently reached out to a guy [28 M] that’s been interested in me for a little while and we get along really really well over text and facetime and we’ve gone on outdoor/ picnic type dates where we’ve lost track of time talking. we’ve discussed the important stuff like what we’re looking for, who we are etc. but we keep joking around sex. i was a very sexual person from 18-21 (pretty much all of college) and have recently started not leading with that immediately and realized i enjoy relationships more when the friendship exists first but obviously the physical is also important. the jokes around sex mostly consist of him making fun of his “dad bod” referencing the weight he’s gained during covid and me deflecting sexual conversation because i haven’t wanted it to go there yet. the issue is i think it’s time now for us to have a physical relationship. due to quarantine and anxious or depressed eating i’ve gained a bit of weight in the last few months as i’m sure everyone has. i’ve lived and struggled with w anorexia legit since kindergarten so i have to be comfortable with my body even when i’m not but sex is extra vulnerable obv. i am used to having very open sex and showing my body and okay with a well lit room etc just bc of my past but i’m now really really nervous to have this new guy see me naked. i know this is crazy but i almost wanna slow us down a month or two so i can get back in shape before we get serious. i feel like the mature thing would be to just talk to him and i know he would tell me it’s fine and he doesn’t care but i don’t at all want him to overthink his own body which i know he’s already insecure about bc 1. my body disorders apply to myself only and 2. i love my dad bods and also there’s the dilemma of being the ~cool sexy girl~ who isn’t insecure about her body and i wanna be her too.
TLDR: want to have sex post quarantine but insecure about my body. should i fake it till i make it or talk to him and risk looking insecure/ making him insecure about his body (which he’s mentioned before) ?
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