Please help me with some advice. Australian (24F) met a great guy American (28M) on a reddit thread a couple of months ago. We got chatting and hit it off right away, we started messaging when we could with the different-time zones and we FaceTimed like once a week. But obviously with the pandemic, I always had in my head not to get too attached at all seeing as I wouldn’t be able to meet him for a long time anyway and to just enjoy it, but honestly I think I started falling for him. We had so much in common, both really fit and loved the gym, into art and drawing, similar religious and political views, same music tastes, a lot of similar perspectives on life and a lot of similar hobbies and passions. We would jam out on guitars on FaceTime together it was kind of sweet. After a little while I could sense him starting to pull away and I was getting breadcrumbed a little. So I backed off a bit and communication became a little more sporadic which was ok as we both worked full time and were in different time zones so its probably realistic not to be able to chat that much. This past week just gone there was no communication. He came back with a text this morning after NC asking how I was going and that he wished he could meet me asking when I was coming to visit (kind of jokingly bc of the pandemic). I panicked and lied and said I had started seeing someone else here. When honestly I haven’t seen anybody here in Australia since I broke up with my ex in September. He said “I’ll let you go, I hope he’s a great guy”. And now that’s it. I don’t know whether I’ve done the right thing or not cause I really genuinely started falling for him but when I could sense I was starting to get breadcrumbed, I just didn’t want to tolerate it so I did this to try and protect myself and gain my power and dignity back. Guys sense when girls start to fall for them and then do this weird pull away thing and string them along. That’s the last thing I want especially with someone on the other side of the world. It’s happened to me more times than I count. Guys become infatuated with me for a short time and then blow cold on me all the time. I’m used to it now so instead I try and protect my emotions and stop it before it’s too late. I think I love this guy but it’s unrealistic as I’ve never met him, likely won’t now and it’s likely I’m projecting an idealised version of him in my mind. I feel like it’s just easier for me to let go with a lie before I get too attached to this person that’s unrealistic to date. What would you do in my situation? I’m currently not interested in any guys here in Aus, he’s all I’m thinking about.
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