I (26) met a guy (37) a month ago on tinder. We have hung out four times total, and slept together each of those times. I’m very recently single and he knows I’m not looking for anything super serious at the very moment but I still enjoy spending time with him and sleeping with him. He seems to like what we have going on too.
He always tells me how much he enjoys sex with me/how hot I am and last week he “casually/jokingly” mentioned how we should make a video of us having sex. I wasn’t sure if he was completely serious but I told him we could only if my face wasn’t in it. He agreed and said how he personally didn’t care if his face was in the videos.
The last time we hung out at his house, we started having sex and he mentioned the video again. I was a little hesistant but he said he could film it on my phone so that the video would be for me mainly and that I could edit it/decide if I want to send it to him or not. I agreed and was fine with this.
So he filmed some clips of us using my phone. My face was in a lot of them but I didn’t care because it was on my phone and I figured I could edit it later. I was happy having the videos on my phone because it was a nice reminder of how good the sex always is. We were sexting last night and I sent him a few clips from the videos he took of us, and made sure the only ones I sent had my face blurred out in them. The videos had his face as well but I didn’t blur them out.
He was responding to these video texts very positively and kept telling me how hot I was and what not. He then asked me to send ones with my face in them so he could “see my pretty face”. I told him how I was not comfortable doing that. He immediately took offence to this and accused me of not trusting him with the videos that had my face in them. He said “I’m comfortable with you having videos that show my face in them, so why can’t I have videos that show yours?” And he told me how he found it insulting. I reminded him that I only have known him for a month and that we arnt even exclusive or anything, and that I barely know him so it was silly to blame me for not trusting him with my nudes. I also told him how it’s different for girls to have nudes with their face than it is with men, because it’s usually men that use the videos to be malicious. He thought that was not a valid point and even told me how he has “way more to lose” than I would due to his career. I told him I was offended he thinks he’d have more to lose than me. I also mentioned how the videos were his idea, not mine. HE was the one who wanted to film them then accused me of not trusting him as much as he trusts me since I have his face in the videos and he doesn’t have my face in his copies.
I then got very angry and basically went off about how he was manipulating me and not respecting my boundaries. I told him if he can’t respect my boundaries to delete my number and that the only reason I didn’t trust him before with my nudes with my face was because I hardly knew him, and that it was too soon to know what his intentions are we’re with me/that it wasn’t anything personal. I then said how now I don’t trust him for the fact he’s trying to guilt me into sending him something he KNOWS I’m uncomfortable with.
The last message I wrote was “if a guy I met a month ago, who has zero commitment towards, me has the nerve to complain my nudes arnt personal enough for him, then that is a bullet dodged”.
He then apologized (it was a short apology) and I think he only did it because he knew how pissed I was. I didn’t respond to him and I’m debating on cutting him off completely.
What do you guys think. If he messages me again what should I respond with? Should I block him? It sucks because I really liked what we had going and it was really helping me move on from my last toxic relationship and the sex was amazing. But now I feel very differently about him.
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