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Friday, June 4, 2021

I hate dating sos

Well to be honest, I haven't dated in years. I haven't really tried to chat up a girl in years. I've had one relationship that was on and off for 5 years throughout my late teens and early twenties. She's the only person I've ever dated.

Between the relationship being very one sided and in her favour (didn't know any better), her breaking up with me twice (fool me once right?) and about five years worth of semi-suicidal depression that followed (on antidepressants now) which resulted in me getting fat... I've somehow convinced myself I hate dating. I don't like being out in public. I don't even like seeing my friends tbh.

But I'm nearly 30 now and I'm getting the feeling like I want a family but... I hate dating. I hate things like tinder, it feels shallow and wrong. I can't go out even though lockdown has ended because I lost my job due to covid and ended up having to move back in with parents (yay fun...) and despite being vaccinated they are considered "at risk".

Help.

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