My (29 M) long-term relationship ended early last year. I was absolutely devastated and heartbroken, but I had all of the pandemic to heal, learn who I am as a person and get comfortable in my own skin. Now, I'm ready to move forward and start dating, but I'm starting to think I've missed the boat.
I was with my partner all through college and for years after. I don't think I even know how to flirt with another person. I know the best way to meet new people is through friends, but I have a small, close-knit friend group, and they've all settled down and gotten married and have friends who have all also settled down. I'm also an introvert, and the idea of making new friend groups sounds like a daunting task, and besides, I have the interests of a homebody -- I like to stay at home and read, write, watch movies, etc. I work from home, too, so it's not like I'm meeting new people in my day-to-day life.
I'm also really unsuccessful on dating apps. They really started to take off after I got into my last relationship, so I've never had experience with it. I don't think I'm particularly unattractive, but I'm not having any luck. Maybe my photos just aren't interesting enough? I don't really do social media, and again, introvert, so I don't have like, exciting pictures of me at a party on a boat or anything. Or maybe it's the difficulty flirting -- the conversations I do start end up fizzling out pretty quickly, and flirting feels even harder over text.
I don't know. It seems like the usual advice is "make peace with being alone, stop caring and it will happen when it happens." I certainly don't NEED a relationship, but I think it does make life better in some ways. Should I just accept that I'm going to be alone? It seems like anything I would need to do to find another relationship are things that I don't particularly want to do anyway, so that feels like the wrong way to go about it. Too fake. I don't want to mislead anyone into thinking I'm something that I'm not.
I guess my question is -- has anyone been in this rut before? How did you get out of it?
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