TL:DR
Comment on a decision the woman is making
Ex: She's picking a banana up at the super market"Pick that one, it's the biggest"
Comment on a situation she is in
Ex: She is waiting in line at the gas station, supermarket, wherever"At least my line is beating your line."
Comment on an environmental factor which is obvious
Ex: Motorcycle drives by and its a Harley"I wish I was confident enough to let everyone know I'm in the neighborhood."
These are just examples, but using these three templates will help you start getting in groove of starting conversations with strangers.
How to Start a Conversation with a Woman
Most people I see have a really bad and outdated view of how to do this. They either approach the situation as "I'm too scared to talk to a pretty girl" OR, even worse they are using some antiquated pick up artist crap that isn't actually useful.The reality is the art of conversation with women is simply the art of conversation. This is a skill which can be developed. Sure, we are going to talk about this through the lens of speaking specifically with woman, but don't forget this is a skill which can be applied to everything in life. Making new friends, talking to coworkers, networking, etc.
Key Points During the Approach:
You MUST be in a good mood. Have a smile on your face, be in a positive head space and be in a place, mentally, where you can have fun. What you say has much less bearing on what happens than how you say it.
Be in a positive emotional state
How do I do that?
- Put a pencil in your mouth. This forces your facial muscles to hold a smile. Do this for 60 seconds or so. Keep a pencil in your car and put it in your mouth when you are 5 minutes away from your destination. This will emotionally prime you to be in a positive mood.
- "Get big" Stand in a private place (bathroom stall works) and stand with your feet shoulder length apart and reach your arms as high above your head as you can. Hold this for 60 seconds or so. Again, this physically primes your body to put you in a positive, confident emotional state.
- Work on your posture. A confident posture with shoulders back and back straight will help you prime your body to be in a state of embracing the environment instead of curling up to defend against it.
Opening your mouth and talking to the woman.
Pick something to comment on which is not directly related to her appearance, her attitude or her physical body. This will help make sure that you do not insult her by accident. I can't tell you how many times I've accidentally insulted a woman by commenting on her hair or something she was really insecure about.A line I like to use is: "Hey, is it windy in here?" if her hair is all fluffed up or looking disheveled. However, if you say this to the wrong person who doesn't know you, it can end badly, lol.So, to start, stick to commenting on environmental things that won't cause you to unknowingly insult her.Have some humor. Work on saying things that will make her smile.
Ex: She's picking a banana up at the super market"Pick that one, it's the biggest"
This example works because bananas are a little sexual (depending on how she thinks) and telling her to pick the biggest will probably get a smile.
Ex: She is waiting in line at the gas station, supermarket, wherever"At least my line is beating your line."
This example works because it is a little competitive but its about my line going faster than your line. Clearly no one is winning here. However, it queues you up to find her after you check out and say something like "It was a close race but your line really pulled it out for a victory."
Ex: Motorcycle drives by and its a Harley"I wish I was confident enough to let everyone know I'm in the neighborhood."
This works because it is slightly self deprecating "I'm not confident enough to be THAT loud". However, if she also agrees motorcycles are a HUGE pain in the ass, she will laugh. You can also comment on the size of trucks. "Wow, I've always wanted a ladder to get into my truck too."
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