I (31F) have been dating a guy (36M) for 5 months. This past week he went to a week long seminar led by a female that is highly recognized in her field. She is in her 60s, married, and has a child. At the end of the seminar, on Friday, the attendees had an opportunity to meet and greet her as she handed a certificate of completion. During this, my bf and her chatted for a few seconds and she gave him a kiss on the cheek.
After the seminar was over, he and couple classmates where hanging around when he saw her. He decided to go talk to her to thank her again. He asked her if he could return the favor and kiss her meanwhile asking a classmate to take a picture. He said she looked at him kinda strange, but said ok and she kissed him on the lips. Initially, he said he was shocked that she kissed him on the lips, but wanted to make sure it was captured so they kissed again. Both were pecks on the lips.
When he came over Friday night he showed me the video. To make it simple, in my opinion, he kissed another woman. I explained this to him and how I see this has cheating. He knows I have a history of being cheated on by prior ex bfs too.
He disagrees that it's cheating because he is not attracted to her nor was it his intention to kiss her on the lips. I asked him why didn't he correct her, and he said that it just happened so fast. I asked him why was there a second time, and his response was that it was for the camera. He tried to argue that she is happily married and her husband was also a lecturer at the seminar. He also says that he views this woman as a grandmother/mother figure due to her age. That there is no attraction. At the same time, he mentioned that the kiss made him feel validated as a student.
I think this whole situation is weird and very unprofessional on his and her end. I see no justification for this kiss. I don't even understand why he would ask her for a kiss, record it, and show it to me. He thought that I would be proud of him for completing the seminar course, and would find the video endearing for having the opportunity to kiss a highly recognized and professional woman.
I love my bf and aside from this, he is a great guy. I know he cares and loves me too. He is a very sweet, caring, and smart individual. There have been no other red flags, so I don't understand why he did this and his logic in this situation. I feel I may be biased based on my history with my exes and I don't know how to proceed. On one hand, he acknowledges he crossed a boundary says he will never do this again. On the other hand, I think this situation is weird and I do see this as a form of cheating.
If you made it this far, I would like to know what are your thoughts are on this situation. I am interested in other's perspectives and how others would approach this situation. I feel like I am at an impasse. I want to forgive him, but I am also upset that he thought kissing someone else would be ok regardless of his intention.
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