I’ve [30M] been dating someone [28F] for 2 months and I love her personality and we get along so well. I love spending time with her, cuddling, and kissing. We have similar views on things, enjoy similar activities, and want similar things out of life. I haven’t connected with someone like this in a very long time and I’d definitely say I love her… but…
I’m not really sexually attracted to her. We have been intimate but even in the middle of it my body kind of shut down bc there was no visual attraction and I became flaccid. I love her face too but maybe it’s just my personal mental block with someone being overweight.
I am very overweight myself (BMI of 47) but only have been for the last 5 years or so. I’m used to being thinner and attracting thinner people. Plus I have trauma with my family due to me being the biggest one in the family and them constantly being critical of it and trying to force diets on me.
The whole situation has me questioning my sex drive as a whole bc I feel no desire to do anything sexual with her at all. But then I still have a sex drive when I look at other people and I feel really crappy about it. I WANT to be sexually attracted to her bc she’s so amazing but I’m just not.
Is this too big of a barrier to overcome?
And to be clear, this isn’t a health thing. She’s healthier than I am and works out a lot and is very active, she is just built a little bigger which is fine, but I’m personally not sexually attracted to that body type. Does that make me a selfish asshole?
TL;DR I’m an overweight man that isn’t sexually attracted to my overweight girlfriend and I don’t know if it’s bc of trauma/mental block or if it’s serious enough to end the relationship
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