This is the first post i made so probably not the best writing
There's this girl that i've had a crazy crush since 7th grade. The girl is pretty, smart (she got the highest national exam score out of everyone in the middle school), very quiet but sociable. She was among the popular girls in our middle school. The way she treats people is sooooo gentle and it's intoxicating. We were the only two person from our middle school that went to this public high school. I suspect her MBTI personality is probably ISFJ/ISFP.
So a little background about myself. I'm now 22 years old, a male living in south east asia. In middle school i was a hugggeeee loser. I was thin, didn't actively participate in any social activity and get consistently bad grade except for math (i usually ranked second or third from the bottom consistently). I have severe ADHD btw, very active physically, turbulent and didn't get proper help until i was in 12th grade. I looked nerdy, had nerdy glasses and shit haircut. Nothing going on in my life, home life is shitty, and naturally extremely depressed. So she was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of my league.
Now in highschool, things got extremely better, i got new trendy glasses and a proper haircut with regular wax appliance. The grades didn't get any better but i was now very actively involved in organization, i was in debate, theatre (joined because she initially joined but she bailed), and was a student council member. I became extremely social and kinda popular. She's not on the social scene in this school very often and dated a guy, popular creative type of guy. Meanwhile i do get a lot more attention from girls, even a chick who was extremely popular and very pretty was into me (i know because all her friends told me) , there were even a few girls who hinted they wanted to date me but i didn't even bother cause i was broke as shit and weren't given any allowance money and as we know any date needs uncle ben. Anyway in high school i kept contact with her to a minimum since she dated the other guy, but she was always in the back of my mind.
Fast forward to 12th grade. Got last in class. She broke up w/ her then bf, and we finally got into the same class buuut i wasn't thinking about going after her anymore cause i had to study (got my ADHD medication and now feeling like bradley cooper in limitless). I studied very very very hard got a good national exam score, this time better than hers. She used to be ambitious but our public school is a lazy corrupt institution that makes people forget their dreams. Anyway after graduation, she dated one of my closest high school friend (w/ my blessings), good guy, very responsible, big dood like even tho he is only two inches taller than me, he's a truck at around 220 pounds. She went to this private uni in our town, and the guy she dated went to another uni. I took a gap year because i want to get in this public uni (yes public universities here are better than the private ones) but it has the highest passing grade for the national public university acceptance exam. Fortunately i got in (thanks modafinil), went to this other town and currently on my last year.
So after four years of dating, they broke up. i wasn't in touch with her at all after graduation aside from occasional instagram replies. In uni i got into the nightlife scene, got piercings, routinely works out, and my GPA's 3.4 so not that bad considering this is one of the toughest faculties in the uni. So very good after all aside from the nicotine addiction. So end of last year i went back to my hometown and hung out with my highschool friends, so she was there and it was cool. So i told one of our mutual highschool friend i like her. The mutual friend asked her "why not date him?" and she replied "hmm, he smokes now right?".
So shit.
For context since this is in southeast asia, so smoking is prevalent. But she is a church gal type of person that doesn't drink, smoke, or have premarital you know what. So now me with two piercings in each lobe and an almost crippling nicotine addiction. Girls with daddy issues dig this new look, she's not one of them. I took off my piercing now hoping the holes will close, tried to stop smoking but it's hard.
She went to my town last week alone and i became her tour guide here. Bruh i'm usually extremely talkative and can be somewhat charming but i can't talk when i'm with her it's fucking terrifying. So i always bring other people while i was going out with her. Funny thing is the exact same time, my grandmother and relatives was visiting my town also so we all went to dinner together. She seemed very happy though and laughed a lot during dinner.
Anyway after she went back, i tried to chat her up but the response has been meh. And i know part of her still sees me as the loser kid in middle school so question is how the fuck do i get her to forget that chapter of my life? She's not even giving me a fighting chance. Is it because she will be ashamed if she dates the weird kid in middle school?
i feel like i now have a lot of good things going on in my life now but she doesn't see that. Even her ex told me that he was confused as to why we're not dating, he thinks i'm good looking and smart (maybe i should date the guy lol).
Heaven help me.
[link] [comments]
from Dating Advice https://ift.tt/wTJM7i4
via IFTTT
No comments:
Post a Comment