It's been a while out of the dating scene for me. I (early 20s guy) haven't been in a relationship in a few years. Anyway, I met a girl two weeks ago, and we went on a date last week. She seemed pretty interested in me- she approached me first, and later texted me first asking to go out. We hit it off pretty well and have a lot of shared interests, and she had a pretty open personality. She told me had gotten out of a long-distance relationship not long ago and that she didn't like hookup culture in the U.S, and I made it clear I just wanted to get to know her and not hook up with her. At the end of the date we hugged and agreed to meet again the following week (call that date #2).
Well, just two days later (before the scheduled date#2) she texted me asking if she could come over to my place. We chatted for a while and watched some TV, and then ended up kissing. We weren't going to go further at first, but ended up going all the way- consensually of course, and with her actually initiating it. Afterwards we chilled and talked for a few more hours. She asked if I wanted to keep seeing her and I said yes, and she said the same.
The next few days I texted her and it seemed her responses were drier or less interested. I asked if the date#2 was still happening and if she was free, and we texted a bit back and forth trying to plan before she said we should move it to some other time. At this point, it was getting clear she was pulling back, The next day I saw she blocked me on Instagram, which was a kick to the gut, and didn't respond to my text asking to talk so it was basically over.
I know it was so short-lived, but I felt at least somewhat interested in her and definitely wanted to keep seeing her. I could tell she was actually interested and then kind of flipped all of a sudden. I think she likely felt bad for hooking up outside a relationship and felt like a h*e (she sort of voiced this out while we were together), since she hadn't done that before. I told her that was certainly not the case and now wish I could've convinced her more... My struggle now is, I'm beating myself up a bit for what I did wrong. I feel hurt, and feel dumb for being hurt because it didn't last long at all so why am I this invested?. I'm also hurt that maybe I was used as a rebound, and that she didn't want to discuss anything further and just straight up ignored me/cut me off. perhaps it's because i've been out of the dating game for so long? I feel awful and disappointed.
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