I (M 24)am into a girl(F 27) older than me, and I really am crazy attracted to her, we both work in the same organisation so we meet up on a regular basis.
firstly we used to have normal talks she being older has few good experiences to share with me. At the start I used to talk with her with a lot of respect as she is my senior, but as time passed i slowly started to develop feelings for her. at first I thought I would get over it but I was totally wrong, my affection for her just got increased as the time started to pass by.i felt ashamed of myself like i was seeing someone whom I used to respect so much as a love intrest. then I decided to start ignoring her but that didn't go well, whenever I used to do that out of nowhere our management used to align us together for work, like whenever I used to decide I will not have conversation with her so I will get some time to get over my feelings but it didn't go as expected.
there were a few moments where I ignored her, but it's like when you start ignoring someone suddenly they will surely ask you what's wrong with you all of sudden and that happened, so my ignorance towards her was of no use. we also had a argument and at that time I thought it finally ended, no more talking with her and I will be free from all of this stupidness of mine, but again came the management aligned us both for some work, at that time I really went quite i didn't knew what I will even talk with her, she too was quite we only discussed work pointers and updated each other on it. this happened for a week, but one day she connected with me on our communication platform and told me that we will be in a call for whole day as she didn't wanted to get more work by showing her self available. we did that for whole week and our conversation came back to normal no more being quite.after 2 or 3 weeks I came to know that my employment was halted as my contract with the organization was over. at that time I felt so miserable, I was really unhappy that i will not be able to see her again and it really made me sad, i started looking for another jobs and a month went by at that time we both didn't talked too much. after few days I got a email that my employment my renewed basically the company changed my agency and rehired me again in the same team. this time I thought I will end my affection towards her but it's not going good. daily my feelings for her is getting more and more strong.
i really don't want to express anything to her and I never will. to be really honest we both live in a different world i know that very well, she is really a good person, and I don't want her to think of me as a creep, but I just can't take her out of my mind it's been 1.5 year and my feelings for her is increasing day by day. Can someone tell me what should I do?
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