tl;dr It still took a lot of work in my brain to bring myself to go for her hand, but I eventually went for it and it was great.
Hey everyone, so I learned a couple things, “you’ll just know” I guess there’s some truth to that, with this girl there’s a lot of truth to that and my socially inept self was just too silly to realize she definitely wanted me to hold her hand before.
So we just watched a movie, I still felt really weird about it but it was all just in my head... and after the first 30 minutes of her continually getting closer I finally took the hint(s) and held her hand.
The rest of the night is a story for another day (no I didn’t go back on what I said in my last post) but it was still great.
I guess I just want to say thanks to everyone who replied and gave me really good insights and wished me well! And I want to return the favor, to wish good luck to all the others lurking this, and other relationship subs, who are like me.. inept, awkward little dudes (dudettes too) who just need a little confidence boost and guidance to take things where they want to.
It may have taken me 21 years (really making an effort since January) to be this close to someone, but it was worth it. Worth all the awkward first dates, worth all the girls who ghosted me, who stood me up, who backed out on plans at the last second... worth the awkward feelings that I still kind of have... but I’ve come a long way and still have a long ways to go to be where I want in my self-image/confidence but after this I know it will be worth it all, whether she’s the one or not.
And I know y’all can do it too!
Thank you!
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