To preface, I am bi and my boyfriend is FTM. Sorry if this post is too long. I added a TL;DR at the bottom.
We had broken up a month ago. My boyfriend (17FTM) and I (18M) prior to the breakup were almost inseparable. We had been dating for a little over three months. We would hang out almost everyday whether it would be through text or dates after school. We never fought about anything and were very supportive of each other especially when my uncle had passed away.
However, as NRE subsided, he didn't text me as we used to. He would only text me when we would plan dates and such but other than that, just silence. It would go so far that I wouldn't hear from him (longest being a week) until I texted him. As a side note, I go to an all-boys high school while he goes to an all-girls high school (he still doesn't pass a male yet). I understood that as a relationship goes on, the texts may die down a bit so no worries there. But I had my doubts and thought something was up.
Not too long after the texting issue was bothering me, I brought up the problem with him the next time we met. I expressed my concern but he brushed it off saying that he had been busy with school and other stuff. He had always been honest with me so far and I trusted him. So, I let the issue slide for now.
A few weeks later on Valentines' Day, he told me he had been suffering from depression for years. He had been seeing a therapist and said that he definitely felt like he was feeling better after each session. I told him that I understand that he has depression, that I was willing to help him through it, that I wasn't bothered by it, and that he could talk to me about whatever was on his mind. He asked me what I know about trans guys and if I understood what would happen to him in the coming years. I told him that before I had asked him out, I was fully aware of what I was getting myself into and that I had read up on and seen what being on T could do. He started crying and told me that he was so worried that he was gonna lose me since he didn't think I knew what might be going on with him. He then told me that the reason why he hasn't been texting me was because he was so afraid of losing me. He went on a huge tangent on how his friend had depression as well and would always text and call him to the point he was annoyed by it and just left his friend on read the last time they had texted each other. Again, I told her that I'm not like that and I have some friends that had depression that would overwhelm me sometimes, but I never left them. He told me that he felt better and we ended our date there.
Just two weeks after that, he broke up with me. He said that he couldn't feel anything emotionally and wanted to feel emotions again. He told me that it was unfair for me to stay with him because he saw himself as a bother to me. I told him that I don't feel that way at all and that I am willing to help him in any way possible. He said that he needs to be single to work things out with himself and his relationship with his parents. He also said that he's still scared of texting me because he's afraid of losing me. He told me he still likes me very much but he really needs the space to work things out. I asked him how long it would take and he said that he doesn't know, summer at best. I realized that it would be selfish on my part to make him stay and hurt some more so I let him go. We haven't spoken since then. I wrote him a letter saying that I would wait for him to get better and that I am always there for him. He never responded.
For the past month, I had been trying to get my mind off the situation at hand. I got back into working out everyday, hanging out with friends, studying, and doing my hobbies. Those things are like a short respite for me, but I still cannot get my mind off him. Whenever he gets on my mind, I get really sad and start thinking of 'what ifs.' So my question is this: do I still have a chance in this relationship or am I just wasting my time? I really want things to work out since we both still like each other despite breaking up.
TL;DR
My boyfriend broke up with me because he was suffering from depression and didn't want me to deal with his depression. He thinks that it's unfair for me despite me saying that I'm alright with it and that I am willing to support him.
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